Shades and Shadow
by Macx
Summary: multiple pairings, mm, read the disclaimer! Touda tries to play matchmaker to bring Tsuzuki and Hisoka together, but it backfires horribly. Will he pay for his innocent mistake with his life? Complete!
1. Default Chapter

**Shades and Shadow**   
by Macx and Lara Bee

DISCLAIMER: not mine. Definitely not! I just play with them and hope I tread on no one's toes. 

Author's Voice of Warning (aka Author's Note):   
English is not my first language; it's German. This is the best I can do. Any mistakes you find in here, collect them and you might win a prize g> The spell-checker said everything's okay, but you know how trustworthy those thingies are..... 

ARCHIVE: yes 

WARNINGS: none 

TYPE: yaoi 

RATING: R, for FFNet specifically. The full version will be up on our website the moment the story has been posted here in its entirety 

PAIRING: Touda/Byakko, Tsuzuki/Hisoka (implied), (Touda/Tsuzuki/Byakko (dream sequence)) 

FEEDBACK: empty inbox seeks emails g>   


**Note: We gave Touda golden eyes, though someone told us he has red ones. Lara and I had a long look at the prison cell pics, at the wide open eyes, and we both decided that well, they're golden. Sorry to all who want them to be red. :)**   
  


Tsuzuki Asato was not a happy shinigami at the moment. It had little to do with his job and much more with his private life. A life that had been turned upside down several times. Too many people meddled with it, too many had changed his life and his view of things, and now…   
Now his relationship with Hisoka was going downhill. Not the partnership at work but their private relationship.   
He liked his partner.   
Really.   
A lot.   
Tsuzuki sighed and kicked at a pebble. It bounced over the clean, white path and ended up in the low cut grass at the side. He ignored it, walking down the sun dappled way to the small lake that was both picturesque and peaceful.   
Tsuzuki loved GensouKai for its calmness. Others might not feel like that, but he did. He preferred coming here to every other spot in his own dimension. Here he was just himself, no one expected him to be something special, and he had friends who accepted exactly what he was. So, fleeing from the oppressive world of Meifu, from Hisoka, he had once again claimed a spot in GensouKai.   
It was no surprise that Touda was already there, perched on some rocks, a black shadow in a sunny garden.   
Tsuzuki settled against a boulder and Touda slid down beside him, glancing at him from behind his visor. The serpent shikigami wasn't the person to initiate a conversation, but his presence here spoke lengths.   
"I think I messed up," Tsuzuki sighed after a while.   
He could almost imagine eyebrows rising over golden eyes he had last seen so many years ago.   
"What is it this time?"   
"Hisoka."   
"Ah. What did you do?"   
Another sigh and Tsuzuki buried his head in his arms. "Hisoka… took the initiative and I… bailed."   
Touda regarded him silently, waiting.   
"I mean…" Tsuzuki stammered. "He… he wants more and I really like him. I want to be with him."   
"So what's stopping you?"   
Violet eyes shot him a long-suffering look and Touda tilted his head.   
"I… don't have a lot of experience in the matter," Tsuzuki finally muttered.   
Touda snorted. "You are how old?"   
"That's got nothing to do with it!"   
The serpent smirked a little. "You never kissed someone before you died? Fooled around?"   
"No!" Tsuzuki spat. "I was busy feeling sorry with myself and hating my guts!" A calming touch came over the bond and he fell back with a groan. "I… wasn't exactly popular. The other kids hated me and soon I hated myself. I was different. So… so I shunned people. And after I died… well, there's not much room for romance as a shinigami."   
Another snort. "Right."   
Tsuzuki glared at him.   
"So what do you plan to do now?" Touda asked. "Run away again?"   
He sighed softly. "I don't know."   
"You like the boy. So go for it."   
"Touda!"   
"Or do you want me to teach you how to kiss?" the black shikigami asked acidly.   
Tsuzuki sputtered. "You? Kiss?"   
"Why not? I have more experience than you could ever get, shinigami."   
Violet eyes widened, then the glare was back. "As if!"   
Touda's mouth turned into a smile. He reached out quickly, snaked a hand around Tsuzuki's head and pulled the shinigami close. Violet eyes widened in surprise which turned into deep and utter shock and he gasped as he felt Touda's lips crushing down on his, a hot tongue searching for his, and finding. The serpent's kiss was like the man itself – fiery, fervent and passionate, scorching every conscious thought with a black hot fire and Tsuzuki couldn't do anything than hold on for dear life, clenching his fingers into the tight black shirt of his shikigami, feeling the fire seep through his cloth and skin, run through his veins unlike anything he had ever felt before.   
When Touda finally pulled back all Tsuzuki was capable of was gasp for air and stare into the other man's eyes, hidden beneath the limiter, face unreadable as always.   
"T-Touda?"   
"Yes?"   
"What… what was that?"   
There was a deep rumble, almost like a chuckle. "That, my dear Tsuzuki, is a kiss."   
"But… you… why would you…?"   
There was a strange expression on the visible half of the face he had once seen in all its handsome beauty. Then a smile curved those normally straight-lined lips.   
"In case you haven't noticed, Tsuzuki, you're our friend and master, and we love you. It's my pleasure to be of service to you."   
"I'm not your master, Touda, how often do I have to tell you?" Tsuzuki replied automatically, despising the very term. It was worse than the kneeling he had had to stop right from the beginning. "And what do you mean with 'love me'?"   
Touda simply looked at him and Tsuzuki could have bitten his tongue for asking.   
He couldn't mean… He just couldn't… right? Not after Tsuzuki had told him about Hisoka…   
"Hey guys, having fun?"   
Byakko, as energetic as always and easily excited, bounced into their direction, and Tsuzuki found himself embraced in one of the white tiger's enthusiastic hugs.   
"Tsuzuki? What's wrong?"   
Red eyes watched him closely, searching for any evidence of injury.   
"Touda, what did you do to him?" Byakko asked, and the other shikigami shrugged.   
"I told him."   
"You told him…" Byakko gave the black-clad shikigami a narrow-eyed look. "You told him what?"   
"That we love him. And then I kissed him."   
"Oh, that's all? And that knocks you off your feet like that, Tsuzuki?"   
"Errr…"   
"Okay, maybe Touda is a good kisser – not that I'd know, I've never kissed him before, stop growling at me, Touda – but it's not that you should be affected like that. Surely he's not better than Hisoka?"   
"I…" Tsuzuki blushed.   
"Hisoka hasn't kissed him yet," Touda told the other shikigami with a smirk in his voice. "I demonstrated that I'm very well able to teach him how it is done."   
The blush turned into a mortified look.   
"Oh, I see… so Touda stole your first kiss, hm? What a shame. Touda, you should've left that one for Hisoka."   
"He needed the experience."   
Byakko chuckled. "Is that so? Why didn't you say so in the first place, Tsuzuki? You know you can count on your friend Byakko."   
"Byak- hmpf."   
Whatever protest Tsuzuki might wanted to utter it was swallowed by a pair of lips again. Had Touda's kiss been almost fierce and burning, Byakko's was like a thunderstorm after a hot and humid day – not less passionate but not as hot, rather energizing but not as searing. Still it was like a force of nature, blowing Tsuzuki's mind away with its vigor. And just like Touda's it left him weak kneed and – much to his chagrin – pretty much turned on.   
"By…akko?" he blurted, breathless.   
The tiger grinned. "That's my name."   
"You kissed me!"   
"You noticed." The cheerful grin was widening.   
Tsuzuki groped for a measure of support and bumped into the very solid form of the second shikigami. He felt the heat from Touda's body, his arms wrapping themselves around his waist in a gesture Tsuzuki had never seen as anything but affectionate. They had often touched, he had hugged him and the other shikigami – at least those who let him and who could – but he had never seen anything sexual in it.   
"Why?" he asked weakly.   
Touda caressed him soothingly, the dangerous claws suddenly very gentle as not to hurt him.   
"We love you. We want to help you."   
"But we wouldn't take advantage of you!" Byakko added in a hurry, his youthful face suddenly very serious as he took in the shocked countenance.   
Tsuzuki inhaled shakily, raking his fingers through his hair. "Oh Gods…does that mean you would even jump into bed with me … ?"   
Byakko frowned, slightly worried by his confusion now. A gentle hand touched Tsuzuki and he tried not to flinch, feeling the heat creep over his cheeks as he realized what he had said.   
"Tsuzuki… we would never hurt you. We would never do something against your will. I thought you knew that. I didn't want to frighten you just now."   
"I know," Tsuzuki whispered. "I just never thought to hear those words from you guys."   
Byakko gently took his chin and forced him to look into the red eyes of the wind shikigami.   
"Those words don't mean what they would when Hisoka says them, Tsuzuki," he explained calmly, seriously. "We are shikigami. What we feel runs deep and we feel it only for you. We aren't human and our emotions aren't either. Our love is both spiritual and physical. You never minded it before. You never minded the touches and signs of affection."   
"Yes… but…"   
Touda sighed softly and he felt the serpent's touch in his mind, warm and careful, as if confronting a young animal, trying not to corner him.   
"You are still only human despite your shinigami body," the fire shikigami said. "You think along human lines of thought. We do not desire your body unless you want us that way. We will not take you, touch you or kiss you if you do not want it."   
Byakko nodded sagely.   
Tsuzuki groaned, unable to really comprehend. He felt Touda caress him again, just a mind's touch against his soul, and he automatically sought comfort with the darkness he knew so well. It was natural, it felt good, and it was love.   
Touda's love for him.   
Oh Gods…   



	2. part 2

Tsuzuki had fled to the only place where he found a measure of peace and calm, the place where he could look out of the high palace windows and into the sky. Rikugo's study was filled with the astrologer's papers and instruments and books, a faint smell of dust and old paper in the air, mixed with the shikigami's unmistakable aura. It calmed Tsuzuki like nothing else, grounded him, helped him set everything in perspective.   
At least mostly. His mind was still astounded by what he had been told by Touda.   
Touda – who had kissed him.   
Shit.   
And who had told him that his shikigami loved him.   
Tsuzuki leaned against the frame of the window, eyes closing body trembling a little. The kiss had been fiery, as not otherwise expected from a fire shikigami, but it had also touched something so very deep inside him. He had felt his knees go weak, had felt the power of the shikigami bound to him so closely like no other, and he had felt the unconditional love. Strong and powerful and overwhelming.   
Touda loved him. All did.   
Byakko…   
The wind shikigami's enthusiastic approach had floored him again. Byakko had had no qualms admitting to his feelings and like Touda he found them completely natural. There was nothing for him to be ashamed of, to hide, to deny.   
Tsuzuki groaned softly. He had been raised in a society that didn't go around kissing each other all the time and love was meant to be between lovers, not… shikigami and their friend. Okay, so he had died a while ago, had seen enough in his time as a shinigami to be open-minded, but nothing had ever prepared him for this.   
They loved him…   
"Tsuzuki? I didn't hear you come in."   
The soft, calm voice washed over him and he raised his head, looking at the taller man now walking in what was actually his private study.   
"Rikugo… I… sorry," he said weakly. "I was just looking for some peace and quiet…"   
"So you came here." The astrologer smiled at him and Tsuzuki nodded. "You're always welcome here, my friend. Did something happen?"   
Concern touched the smooth features of the six-eyed being.   
"I just need to think some things through," Tsuzuki murmured.   
"Anything I can help you with?"   
They all loved him.   
So did that include Rikugo? Tsuzuki gazed at his friend, for the very first time actually noticing that the shikigami was a very handsome man, even with his additional set of eyes which he usually kept closed. The astrologer placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently.   
"Tsuzuki?"   
"Why must my life be so complicated?" Tsuzuki groaned and shook his head.   
He almost automatically leaned into the comfort offered, feeling Rikugo embrace him gently. It was protective, warm, relaxing, and he felt his arms come around the earth shikigami. Hisoka had once remarked on the touchy-feely relationship he and the twelve Divine Commanders shared, but to Tsuzuki it had never been any other way. Well, except maybe with one or two. He loved them all, but with some it was more intense. Like Byakko.   
The stormy kiss came back, followed by the recollection of Touda's all-consuming fire. Something inside of him stirred. Oh shit… he wasn't… he wouldn't be…   
Tsuzuki sighed deeply, sadly.   
He was actually reacting to the passion of the contact, even while only remembering it.   
"Asato? What happened?"   
"He kissed me," Tsuzuki sighed.   
"Who? Hisoka?"   
"No!" Tsuzuki glared, then blinked. "How do you know…?" he blurted.   
Rikugo smiled. "Your shikigami know what you feel, Tsuzuki. You're falling in love with the boy. I think it's wonderful. So… did he kiss you?"   
"No!"   
"Then who?"   
"Touda!"   
Rikugo tilted his head, frowning a little. "I see."   
"And he said you all love me!" he blurted.   
There. Now he had said it. Tsuzuki waited for the reaction, wanting a denial and fearing it. In a way he felt warm, wanted… loved… even if it was by twelve eternal, immortal beings. He had never wanted to master them, only be their friend. He had never intended to command twelve. Byakko had been his wonder and surprise, his pride and joy. He would never have dreamed of adding another shikigami, let alone eleven.   
"We do, Tsuzuki. Everyone in a different way, but we love you," Rikugo said calmly. "You know that. I told you so before."   
He drew a shaky breath, suddenly too aware of the robe-clad body he was so trustingly leaning against. He felt Rikugo's hand card into the hair at his neck, cupping his head, and he automatically turned with the gesture. Wide-eyed, he stared at the taller shikigami.   
"Suzaku adores you. She's head over heals in love with you," the astrologer explained. "Touda… he would give his life for you. He loves you that much."   
"He kissed me… And Byakko… he would sleep with me if I wanted him to!" Tsuzuki whispered, aghast.   
Rikugo still held him, his second hand now joining the first. "We love you, Tsuzuki Asato. We would express this love in every way you'd let us… every way you want us."   
His breath caught in his lungs as Rikugo leaned down and tenderly pressed his lips against his forehead in a way he had done before, but never had it felt this way. He couldn't think straight any more, just react to the physical closeness of the other, the rising aura, and the sheer attraction.   
"We are yours," he murmured as he drew back. "I love you, Tsuzuki. Like Touda, Byakko, Suzaku and the others. We love you. There is no duty in this, just affection. We would do whatever you want, whatever you ask."   
Tsuzuki became aware of the fact that he was on the ground, that Rikugo was sitting with his back against the wall, holding him tenderly.   
"Rikugo…?"   
"We would never force ourselves on you, though," the astrologer added lovingly. "If you want us to hold you, we will. We want you to be happy, Tsuzuki."   
Byakko had said the same. He let his head sink against the warmth offered, felt fingers caress his hair, massage his skin.   
"Are you afraid?" Rikugo asked softly.   
"Yes… no… I'm… confused. I never thought… I mean, you're shikigami… I'm just... me."   
Rikugo chuckled softly. "You don't know how appealing just being yourself is to us, Tsuzuki."   
He sighed softly, both in pleasure and confusion. Rikugo's caresses were soothing, relaxing, grounding… just like he was used to when he was in the immortal's presence.   
"I can't be with you the way you want me," he finally murmured. "I can't…"   
"You think too much in the confines of a mortal mind, Asato," Rikugo whispered, never stopping the soothing strokes. "We've served you for decades and we will continue to do so. We don't lust after you. This kiss… it was an expression love but it wasn't the love you feel for Hisoka."   
Tsuzuki glanced at the man who's lap he was using as a very comfortable pillow. He wouldn't know how to handle it if there was more to this affection than… affection. He loved Hisoka and he was having a hard time with that already. Hisoka's past was like a nightmare between them, refusing to leave Tsuzuki alone when he approached the younger man. He wanted to be intimate, but his mind couldn't shut up about what the shinigami had endured at such a young age. He kept seeing Muraki instead of himself with his partner, saw the abuse, the hurt and the rape. Just a kiss was a terrible feat already. Not just because of his own inexperience. He didn't want to hurt his partner… he couldn't live with his action if he did.   
But now the inactivity, his running away, hurt Hisoka even more.   
Rikugo stroked his fingers over Tsuzuki's cheek and smiled. "You think too much, Asato."   
"Some say I don't think enough," he replied with a tiny smile.   
The astrologer chuckled.   
The moment was broken by the door flying open and a rather pissed-off looking dragon entering the study. Tsuzuki bolted upright and scrambled away from his steady rock in this emotional sea, hitting his head on the low window sill. For a moment he saw white spots explode in front of his eyes and he ouched.   
"Sohryu," Rikugo said coolly. "Anything I can do for you or is this not a social visit."   
The Protector of the East glared at the other shikigami. It was no secret that they didn't get along and Tsuzuki stumbled to his feet, clutching the window sill for support.   
"I'll skin that serpent alive!" the blue dragon snarled.   
"All he did was tell the truth to our master. You cannot disapprove of that," Rikugo said levelly.   
"Wh… What's wrong, Sohryu?" Tsuzuki stammered.   
Despite being this powerful water god's master he had a deeply ingrained respect for the fierce warrior. Sohryu wasn't violent, just temperamental, not unlike Suzaku, but where Suzaku adored and loved Tsuzuki, would calm down in his presence and hug him till the air ran out, Sohryu was more like a scolding mentor. One disapproving look had Tsuzuki cringe and wonder what he had done wrong this time. And exactly that look was now directed at him.   
"Touda had no right!" he snarled.   
"It's no secret, Sohryu," Rikugo said, his aura flaring a little and Tsuzuki held his breath.   
Oh shit…   
Sohryu's eyes were on the hapless shinigami and suddenly he closed the distance. Tsuzuki had no room to give and just hoped he would get away with a scolding. Inhuman eyes met equally non-human ones and Sohryu studied him, then suddenly he sighed, features softening. He reached out with one hand and while Tsuzuki expected the worst, it didn't come. His cheek was gently stroked, caressed.   
"I don't approve of Touda's actions. You should not be burdened by a fact a human mind cannot comprehend, Tsuzuki."   
Tsuzuki shot Rikugo a helpless look, but the astrologer was just smiling a little himself.   
"It scares you and I don't want to see you scared. You are a strong spirit, the only one who ever attracted me, survived my challenge." The water shikigami smiled. "I'm honored to serve and protect you, master."   
And then he placed a tender kiss on the stunned man's lips, pulling back almost immediately.   
"Soh… ryu?" Tsuzuki whispered.   
Careful fingers caressed the bump that was already healing at the back of his head, making him shiver. Sohryu smiled more, then glanced at Rikugo out of the corner of his eyes. He tensed a little at the proximity of the other. Tsuzuki's hand shot up and clutched the dragon's wrist, pulling his attention back to him.   
"No, please just get along," he begged. "Don't fight."   
Sohryu chuckled. "We won't fight. We all belong to you."   
With that he turned and left he study, but still shooting Rikugo an unreadable look. The astrologer chuckled.   
"He would never admit to worrying, to hating that you know about his feelings."   
Tsuzuki touched his lips which had been kissed four times in such a short time now. He couldn't believe what had occurred and he wondered how he would ever get a handle on this.   
There was a rustle of clothes and Rikugo took the hand touching his lips, thumb stroking over his fingers as he held them.   
"Nothing has changed, Tsuzuki. Nothing at all."   
"Something has," he murmured. "I know now." 

Tsuzuki had returned to Meifu, deeply in thought, confused, slightly hurt even for no apparent reason. The next case occupied his mind, but not enough to keep him from thinking about what had happened with Touda and the others. The fire shikigami was making himself rare, though the presence was still there. Calm and collected, cool and black.   
Hisoka was shooting him strange looks all the time. Tsuzuki had distanced himself from his partner, was trying not to see the attraction between them, and he winced away from physical contact.   
Things were… not good.   
And they weren't getting better either.   
"What is wrong with you, Tsuzuki?" Hisoka exploded after they had returned to the office and get the paper work on their case done. A case that had been thankfully simple.   
"Nothing," he murmured.   
"Don't lie to me! Something's wrong! Is it me? You can't work with me any longer?"   
"Hisoka, no…"   
"Then why do you evade me?" Green eyes burned into violet ones and Tsuzuki looked away.   
"I… I've got some things to work through, Hisoka. It has nothing to do with you."   
The younger shinigami snorted. "I'm an empath, remember? I can feel your lies! I thought you were different!"   
And with that he turned and left Tsuzuki alone.   
The shinigami gave a little groan and sank onto his chair, burying his head in his hands.   
Things had gone from bad to worse.   



	3. part 3

Hisoka was angry.   
No, scratch that, he was furious.   
What was wrong with Tsuzuki? He could feel the emotions and they were spiking.   
It had something to do with him, but Tsuzuki was lying about it. Angrily stalking through the corridors he cursed his partner. He finally arrived in a more secluded area and plopped down against the wall, raking shaky fingers through his long bangs. His own emotions were raging and it was never a good sign.   
Hisoka inhaled deeply, trying to center himself. It took a while, but he quieted down and after several more minutes he had reached a level of calmness.   
And he could analyze Tsuzuki Asato.   
Well, as much as this enigma could be analyzed.   
Something had upset the older shinigami greatly. It had started about a week ago and steadily grown worse.   
Right after his visit to GensouKai, Hisoka thought.   
Okay, what could have happened? And what were the emotions he was receiving?   
Confusion. Deep confusion. And desperation. There was a touch of affection, of love, when he looked at Hisoka, and the young shinigami felt something inside of him flutter.   
His own feelings concerning the man who was his partner weren't any less confused, but he had made up his mind a while ago. He wanted to be close to this man. Not just at work or in strength; he wanted to be emotionally close.   
He had fallen in love, he had decided. He loved Tsuzuki. The sheer spirit and strength and the agile mind hidden behind that child-like innocence and playfulness. Tsuzuki was a mystery wrapped in an enigma running around in a circle of riddles, but Hisoka was slowly deciphering it.   
Until now. Now he had been thrown a curveball and he had no idea how to handle it.   
Tsuzuki wanted him, but he evaded his touch or presence. He felt strongly for him, but he didn't act on it.   
Why?   
_Insecurity?_ a voice whispered and he froze.   
Tsuzuki… insecure in the matters of love? Or just male love?   
Or was it Hisoka specifically?   
"Oh hell, Tsuzuki, you're too complicated!" Hisoka groaned.   
And it was up to him to uncomplicate the whole thing. Great. 

Tsuzuki had gone home, feeling worse than the whole week he had been working the case. Things were not getting better. He had finished all reports, had cleaned up his desk, and finally had had no more excuses not to go home.   
TsuzukiTouda whispered as he entered the apartment.   
Hm?  
You need to relax  
He sent a grunt of annoyance. Relax? How could he relax? He was alienating his partner, he was confused about his shikigami, and whatever he did, he did it wrong!   
Angrily shutting down the bond he flopped down on his bed. Staring at the ceiling he wondered how much worse it could get. 

Touda sighed a little and shook his head. Tsuzuki was making his own life harder than it should be. The serpent was a rather uncomplicated and straight-forward individual, so he had little understanding for beating around the bush. Tsuzuki had feelings for Hisoka, so why not tell the boy? He might be a child in shinigami terms, but he was currently more grown-up than his partner, who had a few decades on him.   
Humans, he thought to himself.   
Oh well, if Tsuzuki was proving to be such a hard head, he would at least do his duty and help his master. He wouldn't physically go to Meifu, except if Tsuzuki Summoned him, but the bond was there as well.   
Maybe a little push into the right direction would help. 

_Touda's hands glided over his back, and the shikigami frowned._   
_"Tsuzuki, your muscles are way too tense. Hard case?"_   
_Tsuzuki nodded into his shoulder._   
_"Then I know just the right thing for you. Come."_   
_Touda's fingers closed around the smaller man's wrist gently._   
_"Where are we going, Touda?"_   
_"Bath."_   
_"Oi, Touda… you're going into a bath?"_   
_"Of course. Everybody likes to relax every once in a while."_   
  
_The hot water felt like heaven onto his aching muscles and Tsuzuki sighed in utter bliss as he let himself sink into it. Closing his eyes he sank deeper, head resting on the stony edge of the pool. He barely registered the water splashing, but then Touda's voice was at his ear._   
_"Lean forward."_   
_"What…?"_   
_Tsuzuki stared at the naked form of his shikigami sharing the bath with him. Yes, he had seen Touda's body before in all his naked glory when he had freed him, and even nowadays Touda didn't exactly hide – not that there was anything to hide. Touda was built like the warrior he was … now where had that come from?_   
_"You'll see."_   
_Tsuzuki did as he was told, blinking slightly surprised when the serpent slid behind him._   
_"Relax, Tsuzuki," Touda said with a smirk, placing is hands on his shoulders._   
_Tsuzuki's eyes closed on their own as he felt skillful fingers dig into his muscles, loosening them expertly, as Touda massaged his aching neck and back. Sighing deeply, Tsuzuki let his head fall, granting those magic fingers even more access, registering absentmindedly how Touda worked himself down his back slowly. His muscles were starting to relax due to the temperature of the water and Touda's ministrations, and Tsuzuki felt warmth coil inside of him, flow through his entire body and concentrate somewhere._   
_Strong arms came around him, pulling him back against a muscular chest, and Tsuzuki allowed it, leaning against the serpent's body, sighing softly at the contact of skin against skin. Touda's fingers were still on him, but his touch had changed slightly, fingertips ghosting over the more sensitive areas of his abdomen, and Tsuzuki shivered slightly. His head fell back on the shikigami's shoulder and the warmth inside of him spread even further._   
_Touda gently pulled his head aside and pressed his lips onto his, and Tsuzuki registered with vague surprise that he didn't mind the serpent to kiss him. Touda had kissed him before, hot and searing, and it had shocked the living daylight out of him. Now the lips were gentler, more teasing than overwhelming, more asking, and Tsuzuki felt himself respond to the unspoken question, opening up under the hot tongue, inviting it in. He moaned softly as it was taken, and shivered again, when Touda's fingers found a hot spot._   
_"Let's get out," Touda said softly – he could be soft? – and Tsuzuki simply nodded._   
_Touda helped him out and dried him off with a towel before wrapping a yukata around him. Golden eyes regarded him – since when was Touda not wearing the visor? – and the serpent leaned in to place another kiss on him, taking his wrist again and leading him to a more secluded area of the garden. Tsuzuki blinked in surprise when he saw they were already being awaited._   
_Standing under a tree – Tsuzuki's eyes widened even more at the sight – was Byakko, but he wasn't wearing his usually attire. Nothing but a silken white yukata was covering his slender whip-like body. Red eyes sparkled as Byakko smiled at him softly, fingertips caressing his face before he too leaned in for a kiss. It wasn't their first kiss, either, and just like Touda's this one wasn't sweeping Tsuzuki off his feet with its sheer power but felt warm and loving, like a refreshing summer's breeze. The wind shikigami pulled back, looking at him with the same question in his eyes like Touda's had held._   
_"You know we'd never force ourselves on you?"_   
_Tsuzuki nodded slowly, still feeling a little dazed._   
_"Why … why are you here?" he managed to croak._   
_"You need us, Tsuzuki. Your need called to us, all of us. We want to help. The question is – do you want us to help? Do you want – us?"_   
_And much to his own surprise Tsuzuki felt himself swallow at the thought – and nod. The smile that split Byakko's face could only be called sheer delight and joy, his eyes lightening up, before he pulled Tsuzuki close gently, his body melting against the shinigami's as he kissed him again, deepening the kiss when Tsuzuki responded again. He felt the strong hard body of his shikigami press against his own and moaned into the mouth when heat once again rushed through his body, concentrating clearly into his groin this time. Tsuzuki pulled back a little shocked when he felt a slight continuing rumble and blinked in confusion when he realized what it was - Byakko purred._   
_"Byakko?"_   
_"What? I'm a cat after all … "_   
_Fingers wandered over his shoulders again, stroking gently before sliding the yukata from his shoulders, exposing him to his two shikigami. Touda wrapped his arms around him, and Tsuzuki shivered when hot lips caressed his neck, fingers ran over his body teasingly._   
_Leaning back involuntarily he realized that Touda, too, had got ridden of his robe, and was now as nude as he himself. Byakko grinned mischievously and shrugged out of his robe as well. Tsuzuki's eyes fell on the long striped tail that was curling itself behind Byakko, clearly showing the tiger's excitement. A cat after all, all right. As did other parts of his anatomy, and Tsuzuki couldn't peel his eyes away from the sight of a naked Byakko slowly stepping close. And then there were Touda's lips on his neck, Byakko's on his mouth, hands caressing his body, skin on skin. Tsuzuki moaned again when Byakko teased his hard member with is fingers, and he twitched helplessly._   
_"Let's get more comfortable, why don't you?" Touda whispered and helped him lie down, leaning comfortably against him once again, not unlike he had in the bath._   
_Byakko joined them, and Tsuzuki closed his eyes as he felt his legs being parted gently, a warm body resting between them, lips and tongue and fingers on his body, touching and caressing him in a way nobody had ever done before, in places nobody had ever touched him before. And all he could do, was moan and tremble and pant at the gentle and oh so hot touches, all he wanted to right now was concentrate on the pleasure Byakko and Touda were giving him._   
_Then Byakko did something with his fingers and the sensation it caused was that much incredible it made Tsuzuki cry out harshly, entire body shaking at the edge of his imminent climax. Touda held him even closer, gently teething his ears, and he whimpered and trembled and begged wordlessly. Byakko smiled down on him for a second before returning his attention toward more straining matters and Tsuzuki had no idea what he did, all he knew was that he screamed…_   
  
…shaking and moaning in the last waves of his high, clutching the sheets unconsciously, Tsuzuki opened his eyes and stared up at the white - ceiling of his own bed room?   



	4. part 4

Tatsumi had watched the deteriorating partnership between Hisoka and Tsuzuki with a worried eye. They worked their cases, but otherwise the two shinigami seemed to move away from each other on a personal level. Hisoka was barely civil and Tsuzuki appeared highly disturbed at times. While that had happened before, usually in connection with a case that concerned Muraki, now it was unusual.   
Something was going on.   
The whole problem climaxed when Tsuzuki appeared to work, looking badly shaken, pale… with bags under his eyes that spoke of either nightmares or no sleep at all. He was fuzzy, spoke little, and appeared jumpy. Hisoka was watching his partner like a hawk, frowning more than was normal for the boy, and when he once almost flinched away from him, Tatsumi had had enough.   
"Tsuzuki, my office," he said quietly as he passed by the younger man's desk.   
Like an old man Tsuzuki rose, head down, an expression of acceptance and fate on his face.   
"Tsuzuki, what's going on?" Tatsumi asked when his subordinate had closed the door after him.   
"Nothing."   
"Let me rephrase it: what is wrong with you? You look like shit, Hisoka's more alienated than he was when he came here, and I'm getting frostbite just watching you two!"   
Tsuzuki winced, sinking in on himself. "It's personal."   
Tatsumi felt his worry grow. In the past Tsuzuki had always told him everything, had poured his heart out, had asked for help. He had cried, begged, pleaded and sobbed, never afraid to show emotions. Now he was… moving away from Tatsumi, removing himself, and it worried the Shadow Master more than anything.   
"Tsuzuki…? You know you can talk about anything with me."   
Not even his relationship with Watari would ever change what he felt for Tsuzuki, the love of a brother. Nothing more, nothing less. Everything else was in the past. Watari was his here and now, and his future.   
A sigh answered his offer and violet eyes rose slowly to meet worried blue ones.   
"I… can't, Tatsumi. I just can't. I can't talk about it with anyone. It's… too personal."   
Tatsumi's frown deepened.   
"It's… my shikigami," the younger man mumbled.   
"Your shikigami?"   
Color crept into the pale cheeks. Tsuzuki was blushing.   
What was going on? Tatsumi wondered, confused. His shikigami? And he's embarrassed about it?   
"So… if it's your shikigami… maybe you can solve it in GensouKai?" he asked, completely at a loss.   
A wince. "I don't think so…"   
"Tsuzuki…"   
A deep sigh. "I know you mean well. I know I can talk to you about just about anything, but… this is something no one can help me with. At least no one in Meifu."   
"Is it Touda?"   
Tsuzuki paled and swallowed. "W-what…?"   
Bingo. So it was the fire serpent. If it was him, then it also had to be something about the bond. Wonderful! Tatsumi's lips became a thin line.   
"Listen, Seiichiro," the younger shinigami sighed, raking a hand through his tousled hair. "I… appreciate the concern, but… I really have to deal with this alone. Okay? I mean, if I want to talk about it, I know where to find you."   
Tatsumi was given a wan smile and then Tsuzuki left. The Shadow Master gazed at the closed door. He had no idea what to do. He didn't know as much about shikigami as he wanted to. Why should he? His powers didn't require him to find a protector, a shikigami. Tsuzuki had twelve and while there had never been any trouble, ever since the bond to Touda had appeared things were complicated.   
And they kept getting more and more so.   
Something had happened. Something that was emotionally taking Tsuzuki apart. And there was nothing any of them could do – except Hisoka. And Hisoka appeared to be the last person Tsuzuki actually wanted to turn to.   
He sighed silently.   
He really didn't need this. 

Shinigami could get drunk. It took some time, some heavy drinking, and some really hard stuff to get past tipsy and enter the realm of 'drunk as a skunk', but it was possible.   
Tsuzuki Asato had long since gone past tipsy or slightly intoxicated. He had cheerfully drank himself past the point of no return, had hit the bottle with a vengeance and was by reaching a place where 'high as a kite' meant he was still sober.   
In a word, he was fried.   
How he managed to get into GensouKai in that condition, how he could even maneuver between the worlds, was a complete mystery, but he did.   
And he went to the only place he could think of, his safe haven. 

Rikugo looked up from the papers he was studying when the doors to his study creaked open. The astrologer had sensed the arrival of his master in GensouKai almost immediately – every one of Tsuzuki's shikigami knew when he was paying a visit and at least one of them, usually Byakko, would go and greet him. So it did surprise Rikugo to see Tsuzuki without company. He also was able – to a degree – to read the emotional state of the shinigami, whether he was upset or happy. Right now, Tsuzuki seemed to be very much upset – and drunk.   
And that was putting it mildly. The man was surrounded by a haze of alcohol that could intoxicate everyone who came too close.   
"Tsuzuki!"   
Forgetting about his papers Rikugo rushed to the other man's side, catching the swaying form before it could hit the floor.   
"What happened? What's wrong?"   
Large violet eyes tried to focus on his face and failed miserably. "R'kugo?" Tsuzuki slurred, and the astrologer coughed slightly at the smell – Tsuzuki was positively reeking of alcohol.   
No wonder. A shinigami could hold his liquor pretty well, so to end up in a state like this, how much did he have?   
"Come on, Tsuzuki, let's get you to bed."   
"Bed?"   
"Yes."   
"You?"   
He smiled gently. "Yes, I'll take you to bed. You have to sleep this off."   
"Don't wanna. "   
Rikugo frowned, carefully steering the drunken man through the corridors toward his bedroom.   
"You don't want to sleep?" he asked, opening the large doors to his room.   
"Uhn-n." Tsuzuki shook his head vehemently, which only resulted in him swaying even more.   
"Why not?"   
"Dream."   
Rikugo had managed to get Tsuzuki to sit on the bed and kneeled down to remove the shoes and sock.   
"Don' kneel, R'kugo…"   
Yes, very drunk. But still able to communicate.   
"I'm just taking your shoes off."   
"Y' don' havva kneel," Tsuzuki insisted. "Notta servant."   
Rikugo decided to ignore the drunken mumblings. The whole subject of showing respect or submission were a sore spot for their master and none of the shikigami knelt before him.   
"Do you have nightmares, Tsuzuki?" the astrologer asked worriedly, coming back to the refusal to go to sleep.   
He had known his master long enough to understand that sometimes Tsuzuki was haunted by dreams, by nightmares, usually after he had had an especially hard case – like picking up the soul of a child or something like that.   
"Hn… not really… "   
"Then what do you fear to dream of?"   
Tie and jacket came next and Rikugo gently pushed Tsuzuki back onto the mattress, pulling a blanket over his master, tucking him in like he would a child, listening to him mumbling into the pillow while he sat down at his side.   
"Ya'll love me, he'd said… all of you… ya'll sleep wi' me… "   
Here we go again, Rikugo sighed.   
Yes, they loved him, all of his twelve shikigami. They would express their love in every way he would let them, might it be by giving their own life or giving him pleasure, whatever he would ask of them. But Tsuzuki couldn't cope with that.   
"… he did… Rikugo?"   
Large violet eyes opened, still unfocused but holding something like a plea.   
"Yes, Tsuzuki?"   
A hand snaked from under the blanket, fingers curled around his wrist.   
"Ya'll sleep with me, he'd said. Sleep with me?"   
Rikugo sat dumbstruck, trying to make sense of the softly uttered words – had he understood them correctly?   
"You want me to stay here with you?" he carefully asked.   
"Hn. Stay, Rikugo… sleep… "   
There was more but the astrologer didn't quite understand. But what he did get was that Tsuzuki needed him, needed him to be his anchor in a sea of emotional turmoil. He couldn't leave the young man alone and even if Sohryu had requested his presence right now, he would not have left the chamber.   
Shrugging off his numerous robes until he looked only half as impressive, wearing a light yukata, he slipped under the blanket with Tsuzuki, feeling the shinigami snuggle against him almost immediately, seeking out his warmth and sigh in contentment. Closing his arms around the slender body he listened to the breathing slowly evening out, indicating that the liquor had finally won and put Tsuzuki to sleep.   
What happened to you? he thought, worry increasing.   
Tsuzuki wasn't prone to falling into a bottle when he had a problem. Even Muraki hadn't driven him that far. Rikugo grimaced at the memory. No, Muraki had done worse.   
Stroking over the brown hair, caressing the flushed skin, the astrologer wondered what could have occurred.   
A case? Problems with Hisoka? Nothing he could think of was strong enough to get Tsuzuki to so totally lose it.   
Well, there was a way to get to the bottom of this.   
Rikugo opened his second pair of eyes, the red reptilian orbs round and alien in his human face. He Looked past the shields, the surface thoughts that were a jumbled mess at best, and dove deeper into what was his master's mind. He by-passed places that spoke only of happiness, of joy, and followed a dark path deeper into the consciousness.   
He rarely probed that deep, least of all into his master's mind, but he needed to know what had the one who was his to protect so upset, and somehow he doubted he would get a clear answer even if Tsuzuki was awake and sober.   
A little deeper, pushing guards away carefully, he found – Rikugo's pupils turned into small slits and his eyes narrowed, letting him look like the dangerous being he in fact was. Rage built up inside of him and he pulled his master closer.   
"Touda!"   



	5. part 5

When Tsuzuki woke up the first thing he felt was his head thrum mercilessly, the second his stomach taking a roller coaster ride. Thankfully there was a bucket as well as a glass of water, sizzling with the contents of what he assumed to be the GensouKai version of Alka Seltzer… whatever, it felt wonderful on his throat, and his head thanked him immediately.   
Blinking around he then registered for the first time where he actually was – definitely not his own bed room, that much was certain. Vaguely he remembered having snuggled against a warm hard body, somebody holding him close…   
Rikugo.   
Tsuzuki groaned and carefully climbed out of the large bed – Rikugo's bed, no doubt, just great – and fished for his clothes.   
Great. Just great. He had gotten stinking drunk and somehow managed to end up in GensouKai in his condition, where he had had nothing better to do than to annoy the astrologer. Rikugo would probably be angry with him, though not as badly as Sohryu would have been had he ended up at the dragon's place.   
Tsuzuki!>   
The call almost made him keel over with its intensity and he groped for support, sitting down on the mattress again.   
Touda?>   
The only answer was an unrestrained rush of emotions – anger, fury, confusion… and anxiety. Touda's emotions – anxiety? Touda??   
"Touda?! Where are you?" 

Sohryu wasn't happy, not at all. The moment Rikugo had stormed into his office he knew that there was something deeply wrong – the astrologer usually didn't storm. Nor did he normally come into his office unannounced. Unless there was a briefing or meeting, Rikugo kept to his own place. The two shikigami couldn't stand each other's hide but usually the limits were clear.   
"Something I can do for you, Rikugo?" he asked quietly.   
"Arrest Touda."   
"Touda?" Sohryu asked surprised. "What did the serpent do? Burn one of your precious books?"   
Rikugo snorted. Sohryu noted the aura wafting around him like a living creature. Rikugo was upset. Highly upset and… bordering to fury at the moment. His eyes, usually warm and gentle, were filled with rage.   
"Not something that simple. He went after Tsuzuki!"   
"What?! Impossible!"   
That had the dragon sit up straight. It wasn't unusual for a shikigami to go after his master when a weakness was sensed. Shikigami were challenged by those seeking their service. A master who had won the loyalty of his shikigami had to show his strength, had to show his worthiness, even after the challenge was over. Shikigami were prone to strike out at weak masters, freeing themselves from the servitude; never to get rid of an unworthy master – a shikigami's strength increased through his master. Therefore if the master weakened so did the guardian spirit. None of Tsuzuki's shikigami had ever remotely considered even the possibility, least of all Touda. They had a very special bond, a balance. True, Touda had tried to kill Tsuzuki once, but that had been because he had been ordered to by his master.   
"What did he do?"   
"He intruded into his mind by using the bond, sending him a dream that had Tsuzuki totally disturbed. He came here yesterday, dead drunk. Sohryu, Touda could have forced himself on Tsuzuki! That would have been as serious."   
Sohryu felt cold. Touda had abused the bond to Tsuzuki's mind and soul? He had tried to influence him? He had hurt Tsuzuki?   
"How do you know?" he growled.   
"I Saw."   
Sohryu inhaled deeply. He couldn't doubt what the astrologer Saw with his eyes. No one could. And Rikugo wouldn't lie. He was as protective of Tsuzuki as the rest of them. They were guardians, all of them, especially when it came to their little master. Every shikigami loved Tsuzuki, and to do something like that to him, especially when he was neither expecting it nor able to defend himself… it was an outrage! Tsuzuki's connection to Touda was on a level none of the others could ever dream of reaching. Should the serpent harm the young shinigami that way, no one could come to his help.   
Now he had hurt him.   
Badly.   
Rikugo's expression told Sohryu enough.   
"Arrest him!" the dragon ordered sharply.   
This would have to be taken care of immediately. 

Tsuzuki didn't need long to find his shikigami – the ruckus in front of the palace was a dead give away. Touda was with is back against a wall, Rikugo and some palace guards cornering him. The astrologer's aura was flaring like a torch, something Tsuzuki had only ever seen once, and that had been when he had defeated him, claimed him as his shikigami. The guards were visibly affected by the force that hissed and licked around Rikugo, and the expression on the astrologer's face was far from gentle. It was murderous.   
Touda didn't fight, just stood there in a defensive stance. He had no active powers to draw on, had only his speed, his wits, and the weapons he carried. He was no match for any of the others if one of them ever got serious.   
But his shikigami had never fought against each other! Tsuzuki thought desperately. Never!   
"Touda? Rikugo! What the hell is going on here? Would somebody please explain this to me?"   
Rikugo turned to look at him, and Tsuzuki almost stumbled back. The astrologer was a powerful and dangerous being, his usually gentle demeanor more than deceiving. Now two pairs of eyes glared at him, giving away the fury his shikigami was feeling. Tsuzuki felt his breath catch in his throat, the last remains of his hangover blown away by the sheer shock, and shields flared. He had beaten Rikugo once and had called it sheer luck. He had no idea what he would do should his shikigami turn against him now…   
"Tsuzuki," Rikugo said softly, but there was a steely edge in his voice, "the reason why you came here yesterday – it's his fault. He misused the bond you two share to meddle with your mind. He sent you that."   
Tsuzuki felt like hit in the stomach, hard. With a brick the size of Sohryu's palace. Watching Touda with disbelief he took one step closer.   
"Touda? Is that true?"   
It couldn't be! He trusted Touda!   
The serpent nodded sharply. "Yes, but I never meant to do any harm."   
"It doesn't matter what you meant to do, serpent," Rikugo snarled, "it's a crime. You're no ordinary shikigami to go after your master in a moment of weakness! You swore eternal loyalty to Tsuzuki. That's the only reason you aren't still rotting in Tenkuu's depths. But believe me, when Sohryu's trial is done with you, you'll wish for it! Take him away!"   
The last was an order to the guards, and Tsuzuki watched open mouthed and shocked to the core as the lead Touda away.   
Touda?> he whimpered.   
There was no reply. All he could feel was the confusion, the desperation, the disbelief. His own emotions.   
He felt the weight of Rikugo's hand on his shoulder, a gentle caress against his skin, as if to soothe him.   
"Touda…" Tsuzuki whispered, still not able to believe what he had just heard. "Touda… why?"   
Warm arms embraced him as he buried his face in Rikugo's robes as hot tears of disappointment and betrayal started to fall.   



	6. part 6

Byakko was confused and worried. The call he had just received spoke of the duty to hold a trial against a fellow shikigami, and he had no idea what was going on, who the culprit was and what had been done to give reasons for an immediate trial. Stepping into the large court he took his place.   
As one of the four Gods, as one of the Protectors of GensouKai it was his responsibility to judge over criminals as well, but since the trial against Touda so many years ago – of which he had been no part of since he had been just a child -- nothing that sounded this serious had happened. Usually the shikigami were used to solve problems on their own, or sometimes Sohryu solved them for them. For the dragon to see the need to hold a trial it must be something really bad. The moment Byakko realized who the defendant was he knew it had to be more than that.   
Touda.   
In chains.   
Holy…?   
Half of GensouKai was afraid of Touda, that had been the reason to imprison him inside Tenkuu's depth for the rest of his life in the first place – but a gentle soul had saved him, had spoken for him, had earned his loyalty; Tsuzuki. What could Touda possibly have done that would probably send him back?   
Sohryu entered the courtroom and took his place among the four Gods.   
"Fire serpent Touda," he started, his rich voice filling the room and silencing the murmurs immediately. "Heavy accusations were raised against you. The duty of this trial is to reveal the truth of said accusations and if necessary choose a punishment that is appropriate to your crime."   
Something inside Byakko clenched at this words – he couldn't say he exactly liked the other shikigami, but still… this was frightening.   
"Fire serpent Touda, you are accused of abusing the unique balance bond you share with your master Tsuzuki, invading his mind while he wasn't aware and helpless and forcing yourself on him in a way that resulted in your master suffering great pain. In summary, you are accused of going against your master to whom you have sworn eternal devotion and loyalty. With your actions you have betrayed that oath which had been the sole reason you were permitted freedom after your last horrible crimes against the population of GensouKai. Should this trial find you guilty you will be exterminated as was decided at your pardon hearing. You will die at the hands of this jury. Do you understand these charges, Touda?"   
The courtroom exploded with barely suppressed murmurs of anger and disbelief.   
Byakko could have been knocked over with a feather when he had listened to the words, and the world slightly blurred when he heard Touda agree. The serpent had gone against Tsuzuki? Touda, the one who would do anything the shinigami would ask? Touda, who had spoken of his love to Tsuzuki, the love every single one of the twelve shikigami held for their master? Touda had betrayed that love?   
Impossible…   
On the other hand – the shikigami looked utterly miserable, hadn't obviously fought his arrest… what the hell was going on here?   
And how was Tsuzuki? How did they know about this?   
Just at this precise moment the doors flew open and a very pissed off shinigami entered the court room, closely followed by Rikugo. Byakko could see traces of puffy red in his master's eyes, though, indicating that he had cried.   
But the man stepping in front of the trial didn't hold a trace of the puppy-eyed young man that had won his love so easily. The man confronting Sohryu now, eyes flaring with amethyst fire, this man was their master.   
"I want this to stop now!" Tsuzuki demanded harshly.   
"This can't stop, Tsuzuki. This is a trial to disclose the truth about Touda's crime against you."   
"Me? So this is about me, right?"   
"Correct."   
"Then I have the right to ask questions."   
"Well… "   
"Is this or isn't this about me?"   
"It is."   
"Well then." Tsuzuki whirled around, facing Touda with an unreadable expression. "Touda, is it true?"   
"It is true."   
Tsuzuki looked at the chained shikigami, surrounded by heavily armed guards.   
"It is true," he murmured, but his voice was far from amazed, betrayed or angry.   
Confusion touched the visible part of Touda's stony face when Tsuzuki stepped in front of him – and then he gasped, along with the entire court, as Tsuzuki removed the visor with almost practiced ease. Only a few individuals could remove the control mechanism, among them Sohryu and Tsuzuki. Their master had never even tried, though he hated the visor, but now he had demonstrated his power, even with such a small gesture.   
Reptilian eyes, slit and with a golden iris, blinked into the unfiltered light. The narrow face was no longer hidden behind the tinted screen that both protected and restricted him. Looking at the smaller man who held such power, who wielded it so gently when dealing with his shikigami, he was unable to turn away.   
"Touda, what – did – you – do? Exactly?" Tsuzuki asked levelly.   
"I… I knew you were sad, and worried, and… I just wanted to help you. I sent a… something like a signal to your subconsciousness."   
Those unnaturally colored human eyes didn't release him, seemed to dig deeper, and Touda wanted nothing more than to tear his gaze away. He felt horribly exposed, his soul bare to these hard eyes that normally held the innocence of a child.   
"What would that do to me, Touda?"   
"It would allow you to dream. Something nice," he answered weakly.   
"Did you have any influence to the contents of my dream?"   
"No!" 

  
Byakko watched them closely - he couldn't remember having seen Touda without the control mechanism in a long time. He looked so strange, so… normal. The menace weren't his reptilian eyes – serpent shikigami had them – but the lack of eyes when looking at him with the visor on. He could hide behind that black tinted shield, and he was severely hindered by it in every confrontation he had with Suzaku. Now… now those eyes had been revealed and they held…   
… fear.   
From what Byakko could see Touda didn't even so much as blink. And one thing was crystal clear, at least to him – Touda wasn't lying.   
"Touda, would you intentionally do something that would harm me?" Tsuzuki demanded.   
"Never!"   
"Would you kill me if I asked you to?"   
There was a brief second of silence – Byakko knew that Touda had done so in the past, and he wasn't happy about it – and from the expression in Touda's face so was the serpent.   
"If you asked me to – yes. But only then."   
"Thank you, Touda." Tsuzuki gently replaced the visor before addressing the court again. "Sohryu – there was no harm done. What Touda did he did to help me, out of the love he – like everyone of you – feels for me. He didn't mean to do anything to me, and the result is only because of my incapability to deal with your feelings for me. True, he made an error in judgment, but this," Tsuzuki held Sohryu's eyes, nailing him down, "happened before, and I don't hold it against you either. Besides, how come you know about this in the first place?"   
"Rikugo told me," Sohryu answered levelly.   
Tsuzuki turned to face the astrologer and his face was blank. Byakko felt himself shiver at the look.   
"How did you know about it? I didn't tell you, that's for sure."   
"I Saw."   
"So you scanned me?" Tsuzuki asked coldly.   
"Yes."   
"When?"   
"When you were… " Rikugo's voice trailed off and the astrologer went white as a sheet.   
"When I was asleep, right?"   
You could have cut steel with Tsuzuki's voice. Eyes even harder, face a mask, fingers slightly curled, he looked like he was about to strike out. The power around him spiked, fizzed, wanted to lash out.   
Rikugo nodded, looking miserable all of a sudden.   
"So you probed my mind. Did I give you permission?"   
Rikugo lowered his eyes.   
"Did – I – Give – You – Permission?" Tsuzuki repeated, louder.   
"No, master," the astrologer answered in a very small voice.   
"But you did it anyway?"   
"Yes, master."   
"Why?"   
Dark eyes filled with misery and the proud shikigami seemed to sink in on himself. "You were upset and sad and I…" He stopped, eyes closing, a tremor running through the tall frame.   
"You wanted to help me," Tsuzuki finished the sentence.   
"Yes, master."   
"And you doubt his loyalty?! You think he betrayed me? Because he sent a dream? You of all people? You run to Sohryu and want Touda arrested – after you fucking scanned me?!"   
Tsuzuki's voice echoed sharply in the room, making the assembled shikigami wince. Many had moved back as far away as possible from their master, afraid of the slender man they had only known as gentle and forgiving. Now they were facing what lurked underneath, and this darkness was ready to strike, protecting the one they had been so quick to judge.   
Byakko couldn't really believe what he was witnessing. Rikugo had gone even more pale and was staring at the floor and Sohryu was very quiet himself. Tsuzuki looked at each of his shikigami, violet eyes hard and unrelenting, and when their eyes met there was something like a little flicker, making Tsuzuki avoid his gaze all of a sudden.   
Byakko felt a stab of pain that wasn't physical in origin. It was deep within him, his soul.   
His master had looked away.   
Byakko felt his heart sink and confusion spread.   
His master was angry – and obviously he was angry with him for whatever reasons.   
"So, as you can see," Tsuzuki continued, "there is no further reason to continue this trial. If you find Touda guilty, fine, then so is Rikugo."   
Byakko saw the astrologer wince. Damn, but this was so not good…   
"But I know why they did what they did -- out of love and concern for me. I appreciate these feelings, if not the actions themselves. But that is a matter between them and me, so I want this farce to end - now!"   
There wasn't any doubt – their master had spoken. Sohryu cleared his throat, drawing everyone's attention to himself.   
"Since Tsuzuki claims there is no harm done and no crime occurred – fire serpent Touda, you are free to go. This trial is over. Dismissed."   
Byakko still felt the shock, still waited for the nightmare to end, but as the others filed out, almost fleeing the court room, he knew there was no end. This was real. Something terrible had happened, something he had yet to grasp what it really was, and somehow he was involved.   
He didn't know why.   
And it hurt so badly. 

Byakko went looking for Tsuzuki and found him sitting on a bench under one of the large trees in front of Tenkuu.   
The shinigami looked everything but happy, and Byakko wanted nothing more than to step over, hug his friend and wash away whatever was bothering him. But this wasn't his friend Asato, this was his master Tsuzuki and judging from the look he had received earlier, the man didn't want to be disturbed by him.   
Something clenched inside Byakko at the thought of Tsuzuki being angry with him, mad at him for whatever reason. Byakko had no idea what he might have done to upset his master. The usually happy-go-lucky wind shikigami suddenly felt insecure and very, very small.   
Gathering his courage – hell, when had he ever needed any courage to approach his friend? – he wanted to step out into the open, when he noticed somebody had already joined Tsuzuki. Byakko watched the dark figure of a certain fire serpent approach carefully – and then his jaw hit the floor when he saw the oh so proud and confident fire shikigami Touda bend his knee - and knelt before his master.   


Tsuzuki didn't need to look up to know who was nearing him.   
"What do you want?" His voice was devoid of emotions while his insides were in uproar.   
There was a second of silence before Touda answered. "Master. I want to apologize. I know that what I did upset you immensely…"   
"You have no idea, have you? What you really did?" Still no inflections.   
"Master?"   
Tsuzuki closed his eyes at the voice – gods, even when he had freed Touda from his incarceration the shikigami had never sounded this confused, this – small? And he had never called him master, nor had he knelt or bowed before him. Touda gave him respect in another way, by serving him, by being singularly loyal to him.   
But Tsuzuki had felt his world shift in places that were supposed to be a safe haven when he had dreamt of his friends that way. He felt completely at a loss, wanted desperately to be held and comforted himself, but when he had allowed himself to fall into Rikugo's arms, dead drunk – he shuddered at the image – the astrologer had scanned him in his sleep.   
Yes, he understood why both Touda and Rikugo had done that – but what they had done made him feel betrayed, made him feel as if something really really important had been taken from him, and that made him angry. He wasn't even able to seek comfort with Byakko, couldn't stand to see those worried red eyes on him… It felt as if he had lost his friends, and he didn't want to lose his friends…   
"You wanted to help me and I appreciate that. What did you want me to dream in the first place?"   
Touda didn't answer right away, nor did he raise his head. His eyes were still on the ground. "Something… nice. When I felt the… rush I thought maybe it had been about Hisoka…"   
Oh great!   
"I didn't dream of Hisoka!" Tsuzuki said flatly, "I dreamt of you, idiot! What you did in my dream – and Byakko… hell, I wasn't even able to look into his eyes earlier, because every time I see him, or you, I see…"   
Tsuzuki trailed off, glancing at Touda for the first time in this conversation and found his shikigami still on his knee. An anger he had never felt before raged through him, exploding out of him in biting words and a hatred that had nothing to do with Touda or anyone else. It was the accumulated frustration and confusion of weeks.   
"And how many times do I have to tell you not to kneel in front of me!" he yelled.   


Byakko's eyes grew wide when he saw Tsuzuki jump to his feet and yell at Touda, though he wasn't able to understand the words. All he could see was Tsuzuki storming away, Touda stretching out a hand as if to hold him back… and then the serpent slumped, fingers digging into the ground and…   
Byakko swallowed hard. Touda's shoulder's were shaking conspicuously.   
The tiger stood rooted to the spot and tried to rein in his horror about what he had seen.   
Tsuzuki had abandoned Touda.   



	7. part 7

Tsuzuki had returned to the world of the living, to his apartment, a complete emotional wreck.   
Touda had betrayed him.   
Touda had invaded his mind.   
Touda… the one he trusted so much.   
"Why?" he whispered, tears streaming down his face as he stared at the blank wall in front of him.   
The serpent shikigami had always been special. Well, all of them were, but Touda… he had been his counterpart. He had balanced the power inside him, had complimented him so much, and despite his cold appearance the black shikigami held more warmth than anyone would ever know.   
Why?   
Why had he done this? Why had he sent the dream?!   
Depression followed the disbelief. Waning appetite, listlessness, and a complete disinterest in the world around him.   
Everyone noticed.   
It was hard not to.   
But no one could help. No one could even imagine what it felt like, what it was like to be completely and utterly alone. His safe haven, GensouKai, was no longer a place he went to with a cheerful smile. It was a place where too much reminded him of his dream.   
Tsuzuki shut himself off from Touda. He closed his side of the bond, locked himself away, built walls and blocks in front of it. It wasn't even a conscious decision. He just wouldn't touch the serpent's mind any more, wouldn't acknowledge his existence.   
And it hurt.   
It hurt so badly. 

Hisoka had had enough. Tsuzuki had by now reached a new level of misery and without shields the empath wasn't even able to come within ten feet of him any more. He was at an emotional depth that was destroying him, that was taking him apart. Tatsumi had an air of quiet desperation around him, shooting Hisoka little looks as if to encourage him to talk to Tsuzuki.   
Well, he tried.   
He was met by even deeper misery and the first tendrils of a darkness that was worse than depression. Tsuzuki hadn't reached the state where he was close to suicidal, and it didn't feel like he would, but somehow this was worse than Muraki. A lot worse. It was deeply personal. He was unable to work properly any more, even though he tried, and Tatsumi had put him on light desk work. His eating habits had changed dramatically, going almost down to zero. Sweets were ignored and if there was something he did chew on, it wasn't really nourishing.   
Well, Hisoka couldn't take it any more. This either stopped now or… or… he had no idea what he would do, but it would be painful!   
"Tsuzuki!"   
His angry call drew a faint flinch and a pair of dull, violet eyes met his bright green ones. Hisoka grabbed one elbow, pulled the man up and along with him, raising a startled protest.   
"Shut up!" he snarled.   
Tsuzuki stared at him, then hung his head and followed like a beaten puppy.   
No one stopped them. No one asked. Barely anyone looked openly, except Terazuma, who had a mild frown on his normally scowling features.   
Hisoka pushed his partner into an unused office and closed the door behind them.   
"Sit, Tsuzuki! We are going to talk!"   
Tsuzuki lowered himself onto a chair and met the furious gaze with a quizzical one. "Hisoka...?"   
"I want to know what's going on with you! I want to know what's wrong! And don't give me any crap, okay? I'm so fed up with your attitude, the sheer darkness around you! What the fuck happened in GensouKai?!"   
Tsuzuki winced with each loud word and he was close to whimpering in pain. Hisoka steeled himself against the despair, the pain. He needed to see this through.   
"Hisoka…"   
"What – Happened?"   
A sigh.   
"Touda?" Hisoka hazarded a guess.   
It drew a sharp wince.   
"Okay, so it was Touda. What did he do?"   
"He… tried to help me," Tsuzuki mumbled. "And it… didn't help. It made it worse. And he got arrested for it. They were ready to kill him…" Tears filled the formerly so dull eyes. "They… they wanted to kill him without asking and I couldn't… I left him and I shouldn't have…"   
Hisoka stared at his partner, trying to decipher the teary babbling.   
"Tsuzuki!"   
The other shinigami stopped.   
"What did Touda do?"   
"He… sent me a dream."   
Hisoka blinked. "A… dream?"   
"It was to help!" Tsuzuki added almost defensively. "He only wanted to help, but I… well… dreamed of something else."   
Hisoka sighed deeply. "Okay, let's do this one step after another. Why did Touda think he had to help you with a dream?"   
Tsuzuki's cheeks flushed and Hisoka felt a spike of embarrassment from his partner. Intrigued, he opened his shields a little more. Tsuzuki was…   
"'cause of you," the older shinigami mumbled.   
What?   
"What?"   
Tsuzuki was looking everywhere but him. "It was because of you," he blurted. "He… he wanted to help me…"   
"Because of me?" Hisoka echoed. "But… why?"   
Those large eyes were close to breaking. "Because I like you, Hisoka," Tsuzuki whispered, swallowing. "I like you a lot, but I didn't know what to do. I never had… I never…" He swallowed nervously. "And then Touda kissed me and he sent me the dream…"   
Hisoka had to sit down.   
Touda kissed him, echoed through his head. Because of me?!   
"Touda kissed you because you like me?" he managed.   
Tsuzuki looked lost. "Kinda. He asked what was wrong and… I told him… that I like you… He, uh… he said to just tell you, but I couldn't. I mean…"   
Hisoka took in the completely dejected air around the other. Tsuzuki looked small and alone, and he was radiating desperation.   
And Tsuzuki liked him. More than just a partner. He liked him a lot more.   
"Why did Touda kiss you?" he prodded, still confused about that particular subject.   
The blush deepened and Tsuzuki stared at his hands. "I've never kissed anyone before."   
Hisoka froze. What? Tsuzuki had been twenty-six when he had died… had lived over seventy years as a shinigami… and he had never kissed anyone?   
Mortification and embarrassment floated off the older shinigami and he was twisting his hands.   
"Touda offered to show me," Tsuzuki added weakly.   
Oh my god… Hisoka thought giddily. If his partner wasn't so totally agitated over the whole matter, he would have laughed.   
"You needed someone to help you learn how to kiss?" he squeaked.   
Tsuzuki closed his eyes, sinking even deeper into himself.   
"Oh, Tsuzuki…" He shook his head. "You could have just asked me."   
Violet eyes shot up, looking at him in disbelief. "Hisoka…?"   
He rose and moved closer. "You said you like me a lot. Why not just ask me?"   
"I was scared. You…" He bit his lower lip. "Your past isn't exactly… I mean…"   
"You could have just asked…" Hisoka repeated.   
Tsuzuki stared at him.   
"What dream did Touda send?"   
"Huh?"   
"The dream."   
The blush was back. "He wanted to help," Tsuzuki mumbled. "He said it should have been about you."   
Hisoka blinked. Touda had tried to get them together?   
"It didn't really work…" Tsuzuki added. "I didn't dream about you. I… dreamed about him. In that way."   
And Hisoka's brain finally connected the dots. Oh hell! Now he understood. He understood only too well. Tsuzuki had dreamed about his shikigami, about Touda of all shikigami, in a sexual way.   
"And Rikugo found out…" his partner went on. "He Saw… and he told Sohryu, and Sohryu had Touda arrested for influencing me, for taking advantage of the link. Hisoka, they were ready to kill him!" Tsuzuki blurted, fear and anger and desperation coming off him in almost sickening waves.   
Hisoka raised his shields again, steadying himself against the emotional tidal wave.   
"They didn't give him a chance… and neither did I," was the soft addition. "I felt so betrayed, so… hurt. I left GensouKai… I couldn't take it any more."   
Hisoka reached out and touched one pale cheek, dismayed at the condition of his partner. He appeared so thin, so fragile, so absolutely… vulnerable. Large eyes met his and he felt the tremors coursing through the body. Touda was closer to Tsuzuki than anyone; he had access to his mind and soul.   
"He didn't mean it, Hisoka," Tsuzuki whispered. "He didn't mean it!"   
"Of course not."   
He didn't personally like the fire shikigami, but he knew with absolute certainty that he would never hurt Tsuzuki in any way.   
"He would never hurt you. Neither would I," he added, voice soft and tender. "Why didn't you just come to me?"   
He stroked his hand over the cool skin, smiled as Tsuzuki leaned into the touch, and he closed the last distance between them.   
Their lips met.   
It wasn't an explosion of light. It wasn't the song of angels. It wasn't a weak-in-the-knees experience. It was a tender, loving contact. Warm, gentle, caressing, and Hisoka let the tip of his tongue glide over the still closed lips. Tsuzuki whimpered, lips opening, letting him in. He slid onto his partner's lap, arms wrapped around the narrow shoulders, delving carefully into those depths now open for him to access. He felt the hesitation, the need, the love, and smiled to himself.   
"Now was that so hard?" Hisoka asked softly after he had separated.   
Tsuzuki swallowed. His arms were around Hisoka's waist and he was watching him with utter fascination and disbelief.   
"No," he finally replied. "No, it wasn't."   
Hisoka ran caressing fingers over his partner's face. He brushed away the wetness clinging to the edges of the eyes, something warm and tender spreading through him.   
"Do you think you need a dream to help you with the rest?"   
Tsuzuki chuckled, another little blush touching his cheeks. "I hope not. Hisoka, I… I never… I never did…"   
He placed two fingers on the pale lips. "It's okay, Asato," Hisoka told him calmly. "We'll take this as slow as you need." He would never have believed that he was actually the one with more experience in the matter, even if it was the experience with Muraki.   
He suppressed a shudder.   
Suddenly he frowned, something Tsuzuki had said coming back.   
"You said the others tried Touda for his invasion of your mind? That he was nearly killed?"   
A nod, coupled with a shadow of terror. With soft words Tsuzuki told him what had occurred, how he had stormed into the court room, had demanded the farce to stop, and had finally liberated his shikigami.   
"He was so scared, Hisoka. So very, very scared."   
Hisoka caressed him again, calming him, trying to soothe the upset soul. "So he's okay?"   
"I…" Tsuzuki stopped, frowning. "I don't know…"   
"But you have a link with him, Asato. You should know, right?"   
He felt Tsuzuki turn inward, felt the confusion rise. "I blocked him," the older shinigami finally whispered, horrified.   
The horror was reflected in Hisoka's mind as well. "You left him in GensouKai after his confession and you blocked him?" he repeated, aghast.   
A nod.   
"You idiot!"   
Tsuzuki's eyes widened in shock. "Hisoka…?"   
"Touda's nearly executed for something that was meant to help you and you leave him alone! And you block the bond on top of that? How stupid can you be, Tsuzuki?!"   
"I didn't do it on purpose… I just… I couldn't… it hurt so much to think of what he had done…"   
"He never meant any harm!"   
And since when was he defending the fire serpent?   
"You said so yourself, idiot! He tried to help because it's what he does, he protects and serves you! So it backfired, but that doesn't change the intention. Touda was tried and nearly killed, you saved him and you left him, you moron! You know how that feels like?" Hisoka was close to throttling his partner. "You turned away from him, in every single way! You even cut the bond in half."   
Tsuzuki had paled dramatically and tremors ran through the lithe form. "No… no!"   
Hisoka framed the shocked face and forced the shinigami to look at him. "Listen to me, Asato. You have to go to GensouKai, find him, set things straight. You have to let him know you still accept him!"   
"Can't reach him," Tsuzuki whispered, terrified. "He's not there… he's not!"   
"Calm down!" Hisoka ordered. "Just calm down. We'll go into GensouKai. We'll figure this out."   
He leaned down and placed another kiss onto those trembling lips. Tsuzuki moaned a little, holding him tightly, and Hisoka had to hold on to his shields not to lose himself in the tidal waves of emotions.   
They would manage. Somehow.   



	8. part 8

Touda had spent the last weeks away from the others, away from the small place that might be called a home at the outskirts of GensouKai center, away from every shikigami in the whole of this realm. He had retreated to a desolate place, a place of heat and sand and harsh winds. A place where the days burned his skin and the nights froze his muscles down to the bone. But he felt little of the weather. He was absorbed in a world of pain that was only in his soul.   
His black soul. A soul that should have been destroyed.   
Curled up in the shadow of some rocks, the serpent gazed out over the burning hot, white sand without even seeing a single grain.   
The bond was silent, Tsuzuki out of his reach. His master had shut down his side, had locked him out, was dealing with his pain alone. Touda felt abandoned… lost… so very much alone.   
He had hurt Tsuzuki. By law he should have been exterminated, wiped from the face of this existence. He shouldn't be here, bonded to his master, the source of the shinigami's suffering.   
I hurt him, he thought over and over again. The one soul I swore to protect with my life, who I would never lay a finger on, who means so much to me. My freedom, my hope, the end of my torment.   
He whimpered, a barely audible sound passing his chapped lips.   
Food and water were alien terms to him. Shikigami could last without nourishment for a while, but Touda was pushing the limits.   
He didn't care.   
His decision stood. He was unworthy of Tsuzuki's protection and his care. He had betrayed him in the worst possible way. Touda knew he couldn't kill himself with a sword because it would rebound through the bond, probably pull Tsuzuki back into the depression and suicidal depths he had just crawled out of. No, he would do it slowly. He would kill himself one step at a time, severe the bond carefully… and Tsuzuki would be free to find another shikigami to balance him.   
You'll be free, he thought dimly, smiling a little. You deserve to be free of me.   
Tsuzuki's gentle soul should not be burdened by the touch of a killer, a lethal creature like him.   
I love you too much to let that happen.   
His only warning came a split second before she appeared. There was a flicker of energy as Suzaku materialized and Touda was on his feet with a speed that might be called astounding if no one had ever seen him move before he had started to starve himself. Now it wasn't fast enough to avoid the sharp blade of the other fire shikigami and he felt the cold steel cut into his flesh and bone.   
"So here you're hiding!" Suzaku raged. "Coward! You think I won't find you to kick your ass?"   
Touda couldn't reply. Pain, no… agony, raced along his very nerves and warm blood gushed out from the wound. He wrapped his arms around the injury almost instinctively, as if trying to keep the blood inside his abused body.   
He heard Suzaku's voice, her taunts, but he didn't reply.   
"So you lost your appetite to fight already, snake? Desert doesn't become you?" Suzaku harrumphed and drew herself up to her full height, then threw back her head. "Well, you better find a good hiding place before I come back and give you an ass kicking you won't forget for what you did to Tsuzuki!" And she disappeared.   
Touda sank to his knees, gasping in pain. Gods, it hurt. It hurt so badly.   
With a whimper he curled up, sand and debris clinging to the blood that now left his body.   
Maybe death wasn't so far away any more. 

Tsuzuki had left GensouKai and none of his shikigami had tried to stop him. Confused and angry the shinigami had stepped through the gateway between the worlds.   
For two weeks no one saw nor heard of him. Byakko felt no Summons, neither did the others.   
It hurt. It was as painful as any physical wound.   
And Touda had disappeared.   
It was on the eighteenth day that Tsuzuki finally returned. Byakko felt his master's arrival and hope coursed through the worried shikigami. He leaped down the stairs and ran toward where Tsuzuki had arrived, eyes scanning for him, needing to see he was okay. What met him was a pale, pained looking shadow of his friend. Tsuzuki looked like death warmed over, like he had slept little in those weeks, and Byakko mewled softly to himself in distress.   
Hisoka was at his side, keeping close but not touching. There was a determined expression in those intense green eyes.   
There was a small displacement of air and Suzaku appeared, sword drawn but not looking like she would attack. She touched down gracefully, her wild look and outfit telling she had been in a confrontation.   
And then Byakko smelled it.   
Blood.   
Red eyes fell on the sword and he inhaled sharply.   
Suzaku had hit something or someone with it, wounding the person in question, and it had left blood on the blade. A lot of blood.   
"Suzaku…" Byakko whispered, horrified.   
The last war had also been the last confrontational fight where blood had been shed. Ever since peace had reigned.   
"Tsuzuki, you're back!" the phoenix shikigami exclaimed joyfully, smiling widely at her master.   
Tsuzuki blinked a little, then his eyes fell on the drawn sword as well.   
"Suzaku… what happened?" he asked, stunned.   
She blinked, then looked at the sword. "Oh, I had a run-in with Touda. That snake…"   
She stopped at the hardening lines of Tsuzuki's face. Byakko felt something inside him grow cold. Hisoka's features shifted from wariness to disbelief, eyes on the stained sword. He had paled considerably.   
She had run into Touda… The blood on the sword… it was a lot. Too much!   
"You… hurt him?" Tsuzuki whispered, horrified.   
"I barely scratched him, Tsuzuki. You know how it goes. I mean, it's something to keep the blood going." Suzaku shrugged. "It's a game. Don't worry."   
Byakko stepped closer, eyes still on the amount of blood. That hadn't been a paper cut. That had gone deep.   
"Too much blood," he whispered.   
Suzaku gazed at him, then finally looked at her weapon.   
Slit eyes widened in horror.   
Fingers opened.   
It clattered to the ground and she gasped.   
"No!"   
So much blood. Still dripping. Still staining the blade.   
"Suzaku, what did you do?!" Tsuzuki exclaimed.   
"I… I…" She was pale as a sheet, eyes large and round in her shocked features.   
"What did you do?!" the shinigami demanded, voice hard and sharp.   
Byakko flinched and saw how Hisoka stepped back, eyes wide, probably trying to uphold his shields.   
"I… I felt his presence. I just… you know… I struck out at him… It was as always…" Tears filled her eyes. "I didn't… I couldn't have…"   
"Where?"   
Tsuzuki's voice was like a whip lash, making her wince back from the intensity.   
"The remote desert… he was there and… Tsuzuki… I…"   
But Tsuzuki didn't listen. He turned to Byakko, who could read his master's intent in the determined eyes. He changed into his tiger form and Tsuzuki easily jumped onto his back.   
"Hisoka…" Tsuzuki started.   
The boy just nodded. "I'll stay here. You go and find him."   
Byakko took off immediately. He knew where the desert was and part of him wondered what Touda had been doing there. Another was just plain scared. 

Byakko flew across vast expanses of deserted landscape. The vegetation was growing less and less, the sand taking more of the land, and soon they were in the true desert, the sun beating down on them. They were now entering the vastness of the outer most region of their land, a place where little grew, very little really lived, and only a few shikigami had ever ventured. It was a solitary place, hot and unforgiving, and even the hardest of them wouldn't spend too much time in these regions.   
But Touda had come here.   
Why?   
To hide? Most likely.   
Well, Suzaku had found him and she had done what she always did. She had attacked.   
And she had wounded him.   
Tsuzuki's fury at the sight of the blood on her sword had made them all cower. Suzaku had been so pale, so frightened of her beloved shinigami, Byakko had felt for her. Suzaku had played her usual game and she had expected Touda to follow, to evade her attacks, to exchange a few blows, then simply turn around and leave.   
He hadn't.   
Now he lay here somewhere, injured… in this desert.   
Byakko touched down close to the rock formation Suzaku had told them she had last seen Touda. If the serpent had left it would be hard to follow a trail.   
But he hadn't left.   
Byakko's insides clenched and he heard Tsuzuki's cry of horror as the man slid off his back, stumbling over the hot sand to where the unmoving form of Touda lay.   
Curled up in a fetal position, barely in the shadow of the rocks, he appeared lifeless. His skin was burned, red and blistering, The hair was sandy, unkempt. His hands were only covered by torn, black gloves. There was no sign of his battle claws. The black shirt and pants were torn in many places, red skin peeking out.   
"Touda!" Tsuzuki cried, sinking to his knees, uncaring of the hot sand. "Touda!"   
He touched his shikigami, but there was no sign of life.   
Byakko came closer, lowering his massive head and sniffing gently.   
"He's still alive, but I smell blood, Tsuzuki."   
The shinigami gave a distressed whimper and carefully rolled the unconscious man onto his back. Byakko groaned silently.   
There was a long and very deep wound running across the muscular chest, oozing blood, and crusted with sand. Tsuzuki's hands were shaking as he ran tentative fingers over the uninjured part of the chest.   
"Touda…"   
"We have to get him out of here," Byakko growled. "He needs help."   
Tsuzuki swallowed. "Who would help him?"   
Byakko blinked, red eyes staring at his shinigami. This was the man who could order every single of his shikigami to aide him, but who wouldn't even think of forcing them to do anything they might not like.   
"I will. Can you lift him up?"   
Violet eyes gazed at him, thunderstruck, then Tsuzuki spontaneously hugged him, fingers clenching into the long mane. "Thank you, Byakko!"   
The tiger gave a deep rumble.   
Tsuzuki managed to get the unconscious serpent onto Byakko's back, though it was an effort. The wind shikigami felt the heat radiating from the wounded being, smelled the blood, and he sensed the weak life energy. He lifted off seconds after Tsuzuki was on his back, flying back as fast as he could.   



	9. part 9

  
No one stopped them when Byakko landed in his palace's court yard. His servants hurried to aide them, but Tsuzuki waved them off. Determination and anger warred on the young face and Byakko only nodded at his staff that it was okay. Leading the way, he walked to his bedroom. For him it was his inner sanctum, the safest place. He helped Tsuzuki lay the unresponsive shikigami onto the fresh sheets, pained by the lifeless nature, the acrid smell of blood and pain.   
Touda didn't deserve this. He had done nothing wrong. It had been a misunderstanding. But everyone had shunned him and no one had tried to hold him back when he had left. Byakko faulted himself for that, just like he did the others.   
But now was not the time for blame. He had a patient, a guest, to attend to, and he had a master to obey.   


Tsuzuki undressed Touda with sure, quick moves, the black clothes ending up on the floor of the bedroom. They were useless now, torn and dirty. He didn't care what happened to them. His worry mounted as he saw the deep wound that crossed Touda's muscular chest, a chest he had seen before.   
Not just in your dreams, part of him whispered rationally. You freed him from prison and he wasn't wearing a lot.   
He smiled dimly at the memory. Yes, so true.   
Now he saw a terrible wound, dirty, crusted, and all he could do was stare at it in horror for a few seconds. It was deep, down to the bone of his ribs… running across his chest and abdomen. Such pain… such horrible pain. Not just the blisters and sunburn and the sword wound, but also the loneliness. It was the worst. Loneliness.   
"He hasn't healed," he whispered. "You heal!"   
Agitated eyes fell on Byakko, who was just as anxious as his master.   
"Yes, we do," the tiger replied, voice so small still. "But… he didn't take care of himself. Just look at the clothes, at how thin he is…"   
Now he sounded truly horrified.   
And Tsuzuki could see the signs of malnourishment, how the shikigami had lost weight. It was so truly human, it frightened him. Shikigami were not supposed to starve themselves to death, to just crawl into a corner of the desert and die from lack of food, water, and blood loss.   
"Get Rikugo," he whispered.   
"He might not be happy about…" Byakko started, then winced back at the openly hostile look.   
"I don't care!" Tsuzuki spat. "Tell him it's an order. Get him here!"   
Byakko's tail was close to ending up between his legs, curling around one leg in clear submission. He hurried off without a word.   
Tsuzuki felt himself start to tremble with rage at what had happened in the weeks he had not come to GensouKai. How could his shikigami have done that? Even when he had freed Touda from his eternal prison they hadn't treated him like this!   
"My fault," he whispered, stroking over the burned, blistered face. "I'm so sorry. So very, very sorry."   
Surprisingly steady fingers started to undo the visor and he winced as he saw the bruises on the reddened skin. Touda's eyes were closed; he was still unconscious. Tsuzuki walked into the bathroom and wet down some towels. He proceeded to cool his shikigami a little and when a soft moan escaped Touda, he soothingly ran a hand over the black hair.   
Rikugo arrived not much later, looking drawn between complete anger and the need to obey his master. He was carrying his medical supplies and when he saw the serpent on the bed, his features froze, eyes ablaze in something akin to outrage.   
Tsuzuki just rose from where he had sat with his injured friend, eyes hard, features set. He stood between the two shikigami, radiating a warning no one could ignore.   
"Not a word, Rikugo," he said, voice so even, it was more of a threat than any loud words could have ever been. "Treat him."   
Rikugo bowed his head once, then wordlessly set to work. It took some time for the astrologer to clean out the amount of dirt that had collected in the deep wound, and Touda whimpered once or twice, but he never woke. Tsuzuki stayed at his side, holding one limp hand, speaking softly, reassuringly.   
Two hours later the dirt had been washed away and stitches that would help the abused flesh heal had been applied. Rikugo looked concerned, blood on his sleeves, staining his hands, and his face was slightly more pale.   
When he was finally done, he kept his eyes downcast, clearly submissive just like Byakko.   
"His wounds have been cleaned. Should you require help tonight…"   
"I'll call for you. Thank you."   
Tsuzuki didn't have the strength to deal with Rikugo now. Too much was happening and Touda required all his attention and efforts.   
When the astrologer had left, Tsuzuki settled down on the bed again, Byakko's bed, he realized, and stroked over Touda's hair. There was a soft murmur and the fire shikigami curled closer to him, instinctively seeking his presence in his sleep. Tsuzuki smiled tenderly, then looked up.   
What he saw made his heart ache. Byakko sat on the couch, legs drawn up, arms and tail wrapped around them, and his large eyes held such misery, it pulled at Tsuzuki's heart. He had treated his friend with as much hostility as he had the others, as they had treated Touda. Byakko was his best friend, his first shikigami, and someone he trusted implicitly. He had always defended him in battles, had followed his calls, had done whatever he had requested, even silly little things.   
"Byakko…"   
The tiger winced a little and seemed to duck, make himself even smaller. His eyes were downcast, his head bowed.   
Submission.   
No!   
Tsuzuki rose abruptly, but before he was at his friend's side, the shikigami had slid onto the ground, kneeling on one knee, head still bowed.   
"No!" Tsuzuki cried, emotions breaking free at the sight. "No, Byakko, don't!"   
He fell to his knees and did what came first to his mind. He flung his arms around the slender man in front of him, toppling them over. Byakko fell against the couch, his arms automatically coming around his master, keeping him safe, cushioning him.   
"Don't do this, Byakko. Don't!" Tsuzuki begged. "I don't want it!"   
He was kneeling in front of the stunned, seated wind shikigami and his hands framed the startled face.   
"Don't, Byakko," he repeated. "Never do this again!"   
"But… you…"   
Tsuzuki shook his head frantically. "No! It's an order! And don't call me master! I hate this!"   
"Tsuzuki? But… if you don't… I mean… you had Touda kneel," Byakko stammered. "You left him kneeling…"   
Tsuzuki felt his heart miss a beat. That moment had occurred weeks ago…   
"You saw?" he whispered, horrified.   
A nod.   
"I… I was angry, Byakko. So very angry. I told him not to kneel, I actually screamed it at him, but… I just left him there. It was my fault."   
Tsuzuki felt tears rise inside him and it hurt.   
Byakko's warm touch, his hands on his face and neck, made him long for the peaceful times that seemed to be an unreachable part of his past now.   
"No. Don't blame yourself, Tsuzuki. We all made mistakes. But… I don't understand."   
Byakko's voice was so soft, so unsure, and Tsuzuki realized the tiger had no clue what had happened, what his role had been, even though it had only been a dream role.   
"Why do you hate me?" the shikigami asked with a tremor in his voice.   
"I don't hate you!" Tsuzuki blurted and sat back abruptly, horrified.   
"But… you avoided me. You didn't let me come close. You looked at me… and it was disgust and shame and… and… you didn't want me any more. What did I do wrong?"   
Byakko's eyes were large and round and he looked so very, very young. It broke Tsuzuki's heart. This was one of the four Gods, one of the four elements, a wind shikigami with an incredible power, the Protector of the West, and he was like a child asking why his parents didn't love him any more.   
"I don't hate you, Byakko," Tsuzuki whispered. "And you did nothing wrong. Nothing at all."   
"Then why…"   
He sighed deeply and caressed the white head. "It's a long story." A glance at the bed told him Touda was still sleeping. "And I think you have a right to know it." 

Hisoka had been there when Byakko had come back. He had felt Tsuzuki's upset emotions even before he had been able to see the tiger. An abysmal pain was coursing through his partner, threatening to overwhelm him, and when he had finally seen why, Hisoka had only been able to gasp.   
Suzaku had been at his side, pale as a sheet, eyes wide in horror, unable to move. Hisoka had had to draw on all his reserves to just remain standing as the bleeding, tortured form of Touda was brought into the palace. Tsuzuki was at his shikigami's side, face unreadable, his aura boiling.   
Hisoka whimpered, falling against a wall, clutching his mid-section. It hurt to feel Tsuzuki. It hurt to be close to him, to taste the absolute despair, the anger, the fury, and the hatred.   
Tsuzuki didn't hate. Tsuzuki had never hated like that. Not even Muraki.   
The hatred wasn't directed at anyone but himself and Hisoka groaned softly. Tsuzuki hated himself for abandoning Touda, for shutting down the link, and guilt was closely behind those black emotions.   
Stumbling into the palace, ignoring the upset servants. His breath was coming in short pants and he blinked furiously. He wouldn't give in to the darkness that beckoned him. Tsuzuki would need him and he didn't want to be weak.   
There was a wave of pain and desperation and Hisoka whimpered, going down to his knees. He was so incredibly receptive for his partner right now, it was no longer possible to tune him out.   
"Asato," he moaned.   
Someone caught him, strong hands closing around his slender body. For a second he tensed, expecting a flood of emotions, but nothing came. Blurry eyes could distinguish long, braided hair. Blond. A pair of glasses, gentle eyes…   
"Rikugo," he breathed.   
"Come," the astrologer said calmly. "I'll get you to a room."   
"Tsuzuki…"   
"Give him some time."   
Hisoka wanted to protest, but he couldn't any more. His world shrank down to a single point, then extinguished. 

Byakko felt torn between relief and horror. Red eyes fell on Touda, curled up close to their master, actually cuddling up to him in his slumber. The fire shikigami had meant no harm, but his plan had really backfired badly. And it had pulled Byakko with it into a mess he had had no idea of.   
Tsuzuki was still stroking the injured man's hair. Byakko sat cross-legged on the large bed, needing to be near Tsuzuki, craving the closeness, but he knew Touda needed it more right now. The serpent was in a complete free fall, had been ready to die to free Tsuzuki of his existence.   
A touch drew his attention back to the tired looking man. Amethyst eyes were filled with warmth and love and understanding -- so much like the Tsuzuki he knew.   
A Tsuzuki who had dreamed of having sex with the two of them – instead of with Hisoka. Now he knew why the shinigami had been unable to look him in the eyes, touch him… be close. Byakko wondered if this was what it would be like from now on. No more loving touches, no more cuddling up against the tiger when he materialized in the world of the living… it made him ache badly.   
It made him shiver.   
"Byakko?" Tsuzuki asked, picking up on his signals of distress.   
"I…" How could he voice the question without sending Tsuzuki into a new spiral of the sexual memories? "Do you think… in the future… one day… you can look at me and not… I mean… remember that dream?" he asked, voice so small again.   
Tsuzuki gazed at the fidgeting shikigami, then stretched out a hand. Byakko took it and found himself pulled to the other man. Careful of the sleeping Touda, he knelt next to Tsuzuki, then found himself hugged. Not as desperately as before when Tsuzuki had bowled him over in his distress. It was a gentle embrace and he hesitantly wrapped his arms around the slender man.   
"You're not the Byakko from my dream," Tsuzuki whispered in his ear. "I know that now. I love you just like I loved you before, Byakko."   
Byakko gave a little sob of relief and clung to his old friend, wrapping himself around the slender form, felt the reassuring strokes over his spiky hair.   


Tsuzuki held the shaking shikigami in his embrace, felt Byakko's warmth and finally… a purr. It was soft, deep, and so very much reassuring. While he remembered the dream, the purr and what it had done to him, this was completely different. The whole situation, despite sitting on a bed with Touda curled up next to him, completely different. Byakko was like a small child, so young and needy, wanting nothing more than his shinigami's acceptance and love, and Tsuzuki kicked himself for unintentionally hurting the white tiger.   
So many misunderstandings. So much pain. A lot had to heal now, had to be set right again, but he would do whatever it took to see to it. He still had to talk to Sohryu and the others, well, mainly Sohryu, but he thought that at least Rikugo would give Touda another chance.   



	10. part 10

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**Authors' note: we wrote this story before we discovered #12 on the Net. #11 was the last manga published in Germany and all the information we could find on the shikigami was in there. So Kouchin has no part in healing Touda. We're taking a few liberties as to who's a healer. Forgive us.**

**Actually, #12 plays next to no role in our stories as we developed the story line before discovering it. We're adjusting the next ones as much as our plot idea lets us, but a few things just never happened. And don't ask what happened to Kurikara ;)**

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Hisoka had woken in one of the many guest rooms, feeling like he had been on a drinking binge. His head ached, his body felt weak, and his shields were shot through with cracks and holes. It took him a while to get to his feet and leave the room. Like on automatic he tuned in to Tsuzuki and followed the faint pulses.  
His partner seemed to have quieted down. He was no longer upset, distressed or threatening to fall into a black abyss.  
"Hisoka?"  
He turned and met the large red eyes of Byakko. "Tsuzuki?" he inquired.  
"With Touda."  
"Is he okay?"  
Byakko's lips were a thin line and he looked older than usual. "Rikugo treated him, but he needs time. He… his body is weak."  
"I want to see him."  
The tiger hesitated a moment, then nodded, leading the way. Hisoka felt Tsuzuki's presence strengthen, so much calmer than before, but not completely settled yet.  
Byakko carefully opened the door and Hisoka stepped into the bedroom, sharp eyes taking in the scene. Tsuzuki was on the bed, sitting beside the still form of Touda. Hisoka's eyes were glued to the pale, bandaged shikigami.  
The visor was gone.  
The visor… the control mechanism…  
"Tsuzuki?" he whispered.  
Tired, close to exhausted eyes looked up and a smile crossed the pale face. "Hey."  
He came carefully closer, studying his partner and the patient on the bed. Touda looked even worse than Tsuzuki, eyes closed, skin badly burned and blistered from the sun. His short hair lay limp and damp. Tsuzuki had one hand resting on the unconscious man.  
"Did I hit you?" Tsuzuki asked, leaning head against the wall behind the bed.  
Hisoka shrugged.  
"Sorry."  
"Stop apologizing. You're not to blame. How is he?"  
"Sleeping. He's weak, hurt…" A sigh. "We were almost too late."  
"But you weren't. He'll be fine." Hisoka came closer.  
"I'll be staying here," his partner said softly. "I won't leave him again."  
"You want me to stay with you?"  
"You don't have to. I think Tatsumi would want at least one of us back and working." Tsuzuki smiled a little.  
Hisoka chuckled. "I guess."  
He closed the last of the distance and leaned down, kissing his partner softly. Part of him was aware that Byakko was still hanging around, but he couldn't care less. Tsuzuki responded in kind, one hand coming up to carefully cup his neck.  
Hisoka pulled back and looked into a pair of thankful, tired eyes. He stroked the pale face, smiling a little.  
"You should get some rest as long as you can."  
"I will. I promise."  
Hisoka left not much later, reluctant but knowing he had to get back and tell Tatsumi why his partner would remain in GensouKai.

Touda woke to a splitting headache, a sharp ache in his chest that quickly turned into lances of agony that took his breath away. Then something else registered -- the clear sensation of lying naked underneath silky sheets. He blinked his eyes open and one hand immediately came to his face.  
No visor.  
He was completely naked, in every sense of the word. Right down to the absence of his control mechanism.  
Then he became aware of the presence next to him and he turned his head, freezing at the sight.  
Tsuzuki Asato, his master, the man he had hurt so badly, was sitting next to him in bed, upper body resting against the headboard, clearly dozing.  
Memories came back. Memories that were blurry and unclear, except for one thing: Tsuzuki. His master had found him, had yelled at him, had cried, had begged and pleaded, had pulled him out of his hiding place, the place he had chosen to die in.  
Touda brushed one hand over the bandages on his chest. They were clean and smelled of healing ointments.  
Rikugo…  
The astrologer had probably not treated him voluntarily, so Tsuzuki had ordered him to.  
No…  
Touda felt cold at the thought of Tsuzuki ordering any of the others around because of him.  
Why had he looked for him? Why had he rescued him?  
He raked shaky fingers through his hair.  
Why? Whywhywhy?  
"Because you're important to me," a tired voice answered his unspoken questions.  
Touda's head whipped up, the hammering behind his eyes increasing, his chest and abdomen protesting sharply, and he stared at a very much awake Tsuzuki. There was a little smile on the pale lips.  
"You're projecting," the shinigami added softly, touching his head.  
"I… apologize, master," he stammered and evaded the violet eyes.  
Strong fingers slipped under his chin and raised his head, making him meet the intense gaze.  
"Don't call me that, Touda. Never again."  
"But you are…"  
"I'm your friend. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't want a submissive, I want an ally, a friend… I want Touda as I knew him."  
He swallowed, unable to tear his eyes away from the violet orbs that fascinated him so much.  
"You should not have come after me," he heard himself say.  
"I should never have left you behind," Tsuzuki told him calmly. "It was a mistake. You misunderstood... everyone did."  
Touda hadn't misunderstood. He had clearly felt the anger and rejection, the disdain and the… hatred. He had felt his last chances slip away. Tsuzuki had saved him from destruction through the others, but he had abandoned him. He had cast him away.  
The fingers under his chin turned into a hand cupping his face, a thumb stroking him gently.  
"You're still my shikigami, Touda. I would never abandon you. I love you as much as the others. I'm proud to have you as my friend."  
"I hurt you," he stammered. "How… how can you…? I should be sentenced and…"  
"No," was the fierce answer. "No, never! You swore loyalty to me, only to me. You swore never to hurt me. You didn't. Your intentions were good… to help me."  
"I failed."  
Tsuzuki still smiled. "It doesn't change what I want and what I feel."  
Touda trembled a little and tried to pull away, but Tsuzuki wouldn't let him. He felt the bond between them and it felt so good, but he didn't deserve this. He had hoped that with his death another shikigami could take his place. Byakko maybe…  
"No one can replace you," Tsuzuki told him.  
Shit, he was radiating his every thought. It spoke of his weakness, his failure…  
"I need you, Touda. You're very much part of me. You're part of the darkness inside me. I need you, I love you, and there is nothing you or any of the others can do to destroy this."  
Touda swallowed.  
Tsuzuki suddenly leaned forward, placing an unexpected kiss on his closed lips. It wasn't more than a loving contact between friends.  
The serpent froze.  
His body stiffened, his muscles locked up, and his eyes widened. Pain answered his action, the wound screaming in agony, but he refused to fall victim to it.  
Tsuzuki pulled back and smiled gently.  
"I won't ever abandon you, Touda. You're mine. As you protect me, I will protect you."  
He couldn't but lower his eyes, humbled by this unconditional declaration of loyalty. He had betrayed his master, had shamed and embarrassed him, he had made him angry, but still Tsuzuki had saved him, loved him… wanted him.  
"I'm proud of you," Tsuzuki whispered.  
And the bond was alive between them. Touda felt the presence he had missed, pulsing and warm and so bright. Tsuzuki was and always had been his beacon. He had missed that light, but he had seen no chance for him to ever feel it again. Now he had been forgiven again.  
He owed him so much.  
So very, very much that he could never repay.  
Tsuzuki moved a little and Touda looked up, a flash of fear racing through him. He received a calming smile again.  
"I'll just get the supplies. I want to check your wounds."  
The wounds. Yes. He touched the bandages around his chest. The wounds still pulsed, spiking with pain, speaking of his weakness, but the pain inside his soul had been much worse.  
Tsuzuki unwrapped his chest and then proceeded to clean the healing injury. He was careful, gentle. Touda saw the stitches, the ugly, deep cut, and when Tsuzuki applied the ointment Touda winced briefly. It drew an immediate apology, but the shikigami just smiled slightly. Each of Tsuzuki's touches was gentle, caring, and Touda relaxed under his hands.  
For the first time he noticed the bedroom. It wasn't a guest room but someone's sleeping quarters. At his question, Tsuzuki grinned a little.  
"Byakko took you to his home. We thought it was the best."  
He was at Byakko's?  
"Your clothes are gone. They were kinda… torn and dirty. Byakko said he'd get you something to wear when you're ready to get up.  
"I can leave," Touda said immediately.  
"No!" Tsuzuki interrupted. "You'll stay here until you're healed."  
Touda swallowed his protests and instead addressed another topic on his mind.  
"The control mechanism…"  
"I took it off and it'll stay off as long as I see fit," came the level answer.  
"The others won't like it."  
Amethyst eyes hardened. "I don't really care at this point."  
Touda felt himself shiver a little.  
"Touda… would you attack me?"  
"No!" he blurted, horrified at the very thought.  
"The control mechanism keeps your powers in check, rendering you senseless, so to speak," Tsuzuki told him matter-of-factly. "It's there so the others feel safe. I never liked it, but it wasn't my decision to make. It was the only condition they had for releasing you into my service. I trust you, Touda. I trust you with my life and I also trust you with my soul."  
He felt his breath hitch in his throat. He had abused that trust already…  
"Your intentions were not to harm and I know you would never do anything to hurt me." Tsuzuki smiled calmly. "I trust you implicitly. The visor stays off as long as you are here."  
"Thank you," the fire serpent said softly.  
He didn't deserve this. He never had. He didn't deserve Tsuzuki. He should be in prison for all eternity or dead.  
But here he was, with this wonderful human being, his reason to live. He served Tsuzuki, his will was Touda's life, Touda's life was Tsuzuki's to command. His master. He could never be an equal to this unpretending man. 

Tsuzuki had left Touda in Byakko's care. He knew the tiger wouldn't hurt the injured shikigami and he would protect him. Touda had been asleep when Tsuzuki had left and it was better that way. If Touda had known where he was headed and for what purpose…  
Halfway between Byakko's palace and his destination he was stopped by Suzaku. The phoenix looked meek, as small as Byakko had just mere hours before, and she tried to both look at him and evade his gaze.  
"Tsuzuki… I… I'm so sorry. I didn't know… I didn't… I didn't think. I'm so sorry!"  
He looked at her, her torn and pained expression. "Don't tell me that, Suzaku. I'm not the one you nearly killed."  
Her eyes widened even more and she gave a soft whimper. "I didn't want to kill him…"  
"Maybe not, but it's what you nearly did. He was in no shape to defend himself, Suzaku. You all pushed him away, you didn't care, and all you thought about was your so-called game."  
Tsuzuki sighed tiredly.  
"I… I know you don't like him, but… to hurt him like this. How much can one hate and how long?"  
With that he turned and continued his path to the first of his true confrontations. Suzaku remained behind, routed to the spot, arms wrapped around herself as if she was either cold or hurting. 

Tsuzuki pushed open the doors of the palace and stalked past startled servants who didn't dare stop him, through the main office room, which was as always busy, and into the private section of the immense building. He knew where to find the owner of this place.  
Brushing past several rooms that held more office space where low level shikigami were working, he finally was in the inner sanctum.  
It was a place only a few people had access to; he was one of them.  
Sohryu sat at his desk, dressed in black pants, a light gray shirt without any ornamentation and the elaborate hair style now gone. His long, blue hair hung down his back, held together by a simple, braided clasp. Even like this he still radiated the power he wielded, but the outer signs of his position had been exchanged for the more private appearance. As Tsuzuki entered, the non-human eyes rose from what Sohryu had been reading, widening a little.  
"Tsuzuki," he started, then stopped and added, "Master…"  
"Drop the master crap, Sohryu!" Tsuzuki growled and shut the door, giving them complete privacy. The personal assistants and servants had seen him. No one would dare interrupt them now.  
Sohryu rose and his face showed a mixture of indecision and submission.  
"I found Touda," Tsuzuki said without greeting. "I brought him home. He's currently at Byakko's place."  
Sohryu opened his mouth to say something but Tsuzuki brutally cut him off.  
"Don't even think about going there or ordering the guards! Touda is my shikigami, mine to command as I see fit! He is my responsibility, a responsibility you ignored! You judged and tried him without my permission! You sentenced him without ever hearing my side! You trusted in what Rikugo said after he scanned me without my permission!" He stressed the last words.  
Sohryu flinched under them like whip lashes.  
"You took law into your own hand! You only saw his past without taking the present into account! You ruled over him as if you were his master, Sohryu!"  
The dragon physically stepped back under the verbal assault. He had never seen Tsuzuki like that, and Tsuzuki felt a rage that had never touched him before either. Power streamed off him in waves, making even the Protector of the East cringe.  
"You are prejudiced, Sohryu. You, the leader of this world! You took one look at Touda and found him guilty of a crime you didn't even know what it was!"  
"He influenced you," Sohryu spoke up.  
"He sent me a dream because he wanted to help me!"  
"How do you know that?" the dragon growled.  
Tsuzuki glared at him. "Because I trust Touda. He would never harm me!"  
Sohryu's eyes narrowed as he faced off against his master as much as the shikigami would dare after what had happened lately.  
"He could be influencing you without you knowing it, Tsuzuki. You believe him too easily. You trust him too easily. Touda is a criminal, a traitor, who killed his kind in the war, regardless what side they were on."  
Tsuzuki felt something inside of him boil and it was most likely palpable even outside, given how Sohryu suddenly moved uneasily, eyes taking on a nervous quality.  
"You pretentious asshole!" the shinigami erupted in an uncharacteristic flare of rage. "Once judged, always guilty, right?! Touda's been my shikigami for decades! He has never ever done anything to harm me, not in those past years, nor in the months we've been bonded now! His loyalty is unquestionable!"  
"He hurt you, Tsuzuki. I cannot forgive him that."  
"So did Rikugo! He scanned me without permission, which is by far worse than sending a dream of which Touda had no control. He did it to make me feel better; Rikugo breeched my privacy."  
Sohryu drew a deep breath, clearly shaken. "I cannot trust him. His influence…"  
Tsuzuki had had enough. "Come with me!" he ordered.  
"Tsuzuki…" Sohryu stopped the moment those amethyst eyes nailed him.  
"I said come with me, shikigami!"  
And he did. Meekly, he followed his master as Tsuzuki stalked through the palace, heading to the only place where he knew the truth could not be hidden. 

Rikugo hadn't left the observatory ever since Tsuzuki had gone home to his dimension – except for the brief visit to Byakko's palace to treat the traitor.  
No, not a traitor, he reminded himself. If Touda was a traitor, so was he. He had done something even worse than send a dream; he had actively scanned his master in his sleep. It was a crime. It was a betrayal worse than what Touda had done.  
Rikugo had retreated to his inner sanctum, had ignored everything around him, and after some hours of quiet contemplation his mind had needed his body to do something.  
So he had started to clean up.  
His study had never been this clean, his books and scrolls never as orderly, and he had actually filed away more in that time than in the whole last year.  
No one disturbed him, not even Genbu. The Protector of the North had kept his distance from his pupil, watching him without interfering.  
It was while Rikugo was contemplating whether or not to move a particular shelf completely that the door to his study flew open and Tsuzuki walked in. Rikugo froze.  
Then he paled dramatically as he discovered that the shinigami was not alone. His master had brought Sohryu along. The dragon looked drawn between furious and clearly disturbed.  
There was only one thought flashing through Rikugo's mind and it terrified him like nothing else.  
'He came to have me arrested for my crimes against him.'


	11. part 11

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**Here are the authors again, this time answering a comment made about us saying there are only four Gods and calling Sohryu the leader of GensouKai: **

**#1 the shikigami and the four Gods. As you might notice, we give Byakko, Sohryu, Genbu and Suzaku capital letter titles. They're Gods. We want to set them apart from the other shikigami for their position as the Protectors of a quarter of GensouKai each. We see them as the leaders of each sector, responsible for this part of the land (governor, anyone?) with the others under their command. Of the four, Sohryu has the highest position because he's the official representative of the Emperor. So, politically, he's in charge (can't be all four; would be a mess ;)). It's why we call him the leader of GensouKai. The other three have equal positions and, as you will see in a later story (sequel to Shades and Shadow), there's more to that rank.**

**Hm, now we actually did answer #2 (Sohryu) already. :) Imagine a command structure of Sohryu on top (representative of the so very absent Emperor), the other three of equal rank (and the rank is God with a capital G) and the other Divine Commanders another step down. Then comes the rest of GensouKai.**

**Hope you can live with what we're making of the political hierachy of GensouKai. **

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The astrologer didn't think as he dropped to one knee, head bowed, his breath catching in his throat.  
"Get up!" Tsuzuki snapped, clearly pissed off.  
Rikugo rose without protest, still avoiding direct eye contact. The aura around Tsuzuki was immense. Power danced and flexed, ready to be unleashed, a clear sign of the shinigami's failing control. One wrong move and he might feel what it was like to have Tsuzuki as a real master, not the friend he had been.  
Had been.  
Rikugo felt something inside him clench at the thought. He had lost Tsuzuki; he was convinced of that.  
"Look at me!"  
The order was clear and the shikigami followed it, raising his eyes.  
Amethyst met his and he shivered under the intensity. Part of him recognized the same unease in Sohryu's whole stance.  
"I want you to Look at me," Tsuzuki repeated. "Really Look. And I want you to tell Sohryu what you See."  
Rikugo was reeling. Look at him… as in…?  
"Master?" he queried.  
"You know what I mean. Just Look and tell this hard headed dragon what you See!" Tsuzuki ordered once more, expression fierce.  
He wanted him to scan him? Rikugo thought, panic rising inside him.  
There was no mistaking the slender shinigami's intent and as his servant he was sworn to follow his orders.  
So he opened the second set of eyes.  
Red, reptilian, with a slit pupil, the round eyes opened and Rikugo looked past the surface of the man who had bested him so long ago. The man he loved and served with all his being; the man he had lost through his thoughtless actions.  
He saw past barriers and shields, easily recognized the link Tsuzuki had with Touda, and which was currently strained but looked healthier than the last time he had checked it.  
"What do you want me to See, master?" he asked softly.  
"You can See Touda within me, right?"  
"Yes."  
Quite clearly. Touda's touch was there, like a living, breathing shield. Passive and protective. A web of carefully woven lines, protecting the fragile soul, keeping guard over Tsuzuki like a… Rikugo swallowed a little. Like a parent. Like a mother guarding her young. Like a father ready to defend.  
"What is his influence on me?" Tsuzuki asked.  
"Influence?"  
Tsuzuki glared at him. "Just tell me what you See!"  
And he described it, almost in his own words, his thoughts. He heard Sohryu's sharp intake of breath, heard the uneasy rustle of expensive silk.  
"Do you see manipulation?"  
"N…no…"  
There was nothing but the clear, bright light of Tsuzuki's essence. Of course there were the shadows of the shinigami's own pain and guilt and sorrow, but none of it was connected to the bond he shared with Touda.  
"Touda has no hold on me," Rikugo heard Tsuzuki say, and he knew the shinigami was addressing Sohryu. "He never had, he never would. He is my lifeline, that's all! He has sworn loyalty to me and what happened was nothing more than good intent gone horribly wrong!"  
Rikugo closed his second set of eyes and watched the small scene in front of him. Sohryu looked chastised, almost mortified, and the mighty dragon gazed at the floor, unwilling or unable to meet his master's eyes.  
Tsuzuki stepped closer, trying to catch the powerful being's eyes.  
"Sohryu," he whispered, his voice suddenly so loving and warm, Rikugo ached to have his master address him that way.  
But he was a criminal, just like Touda had been called. Only he had truly committed an atrocity. Touda… Rikugo swallowed hard.  
"Sohryu, I understand how you want to protect me. I appreciate the gesture, but I told you…. Touda is mine. Only mine. You are not to judge him when it comes to crimes against me; perceived crimes against me. I'm his master and I will act as such if I see fit."  
"Yes," Sohryu whispered.  
Tsuzuki placed a hand against the robe-clad chest, voice dropping even more.  
"Thank you for your concern, Sohryu. I'm proud to be yours. I know I can rely on you for protection, my shikigami. You showed me your loyalty."  
Sohryu gazed silently at him, then nodded. Rikugo watched as the powerful dragon left.  
Tsuzuki turned and those warm eyes fell on him. Rikugo felt breathless for a moment, then showed his respect by bowing his head.

Tsuzuki knew he had shocked Rikugo by storming into his home, Sohryu in tow, and his own emotions were still trying to cope with the latest confrontations.  
He needed peace now. He craved the quiet of before, the friendly encounters, the leisurely moments together with his shikigami. But all that wasn't to be as long as there was doubt in anyone's mind, be it concerning Touda or something else. Emotionally turmoiled by handling the shikigami leader, he gazed at the bowed, blond head, noticed the less than splendorous dress Rikugo wore, and the state of the observatory's study.  
As much as the room was sparkling clean, Rikugo was just the opposite. He looked ragged, the hair no longer braided so cleanly in a long tail. It appeared frazzled, there were signs of dust clinging to it, and the robe was as plain as it was streaked with dirt from recent cleaning. Rikugo himself was a pale shadow of his former, powerful self.  
Tsuzuki inhaled deeply. He stepped in front of the much taller shikigami, trying to fight down his still raging anger. It wasn't any anger directed at his long-time friend. It was just a mix of everything thrown together. He needed to calm down; he needed Rikugo to understand. He needed him back as a friend. He needed his hiding place again.  
"Rikugo. Look at me, please?"  
Dark eyes rose and met his gaze, but there was no challenge in there. Only despair. Shame and guilt and embarrassment, coupled with lingering fear. He hated to see all of that.  
"Thank you, Rikugo. I appreciate this help with Sohryu."  
"I serve you, master."  
"No," he whispered, trying not to wince at the address. "No, you help me. You protect me."  
"It's our duty."  
Those dark eyes refused to really meet his, darting away. Rikugo was a dangerous, powerful shikigami, but at the moment he appeared as small and vulnerable as Byakko had been when confronted with Tsuzuki's anger.  
The shinigami came closer, noting in dismay how the tall figure flinched a little. He touched a hand to the muscular chest, warmth seeping through the thin barrier.  
"Rikugo."  
There was a tremor. "Master?"  
"Stop being submissive. I don't hate you, Rikugo. I could never hate any of you," Tsuzuki said softly. "I was just angry and disappointed. I know you meant no harm, but you did what you accused Touda of doing, and you behaved so self-righteously… just because he has a checkered past. You judged him without hearing me out," Tsuzuki repeated what he had told Sohryu. "You all only did what comes naturally, but so did Touda. I do not fault him for that, even if the result was less than happy. He is still mine and I still love him. He's as much a part of me as all of you are. There is no blame, just misunderstood helpfulness."  
"I betrayed you," the astrologer whispered, voice hoarse and shaky.  
"Yes, you did. You betrayed my confidence. I was helpless and you scanned me. You didn't hurt me, Rikugo, but you didn't ask for permission."  
The blond started to tremble more.  
"But I know you wanted to help. I know you are protective of me. I know you love me."  
"I would never hurt you," Rikugo moaned. "But you were hurting… and I wanted to know why… Forgive me, master…"  
"Stop calling me that, Rikugo. Stop bowing and kneeling," Tsuzuki told him, voice firm. He stepped closer, now almost pressed up against the other man. "I need you all. I would never abandon any single one of you. I need you to be my strength. Neither one of you alone bears the blame for this. I don't want Touda hurt by the others. I don't want him shunned. He's been hurt enough as it is in the past before this ever happened."  
Rikugo nodded slowly and Tsuzuki wrapped his arms around him, needing the physical comfort as much as Rikugo did. Arms curled around him in turn, drawing him close, and Rikugo rested his head on the dark hair, exhaling softly. His whole body was relaxing and Tsuzuki gently stroked over the taller man's back.  
"Rikugo?" he asked, voice slightly muffled.  
"Yes?"  
"Can I… stay here for a while?"  
The shikigami gave an almost sobbing laugh. "Of course, Tsuzuki. You can always stay here."  
Tsuzuki looked up and met suspiciously wet eyes. There were a lot of emotions in them, fighting for dominance, and it hurt him to have hurt his shikigami so much. All of them. It had been an avalanche of events which were just now evening out.  
Rikugo caressed his cheek, stroking over one side of his face, giving him a watery smile.  
"You're always welcome," he whispered.  
Tsuzuki smiled happily. Part of the knot inside him started to unwind. 

Touda woke to the still lingering pain of his slowly healing wounds, his cursed weak body, and the sight of Byakko curled up on the couch, reading. Confused as to why the tiger was here, Touda sat up slowly, drawing attention to himself. Byakko smiled widely as he discovered that the serpent was awake, closing his book.  
"Hey! How do you feel?"  
It was an honest question, without pretense or hidden intention. It was pure Byakko. A powerful God but still so playful and open-minded, kind-hearted and warm…  
"I'm fine," Touda answered levelly.  
"Good. Hungry? Thirsty?"  
"No."  
It was a lie and by Byakko's frown he had seen it as such. Before the tiger could say something, Touda asked,  
"Where's Tsuzuki?"  
"He went out to settle some stuff," was the uneasy answer.  
Golden eyes narrowed. "Settle what stuff?"  
Byakko sighed and his tail twitched, a clear sign of his unhappiness.  
"He went to talk to Sohryu."  
Touda's blood ran cold; well, colder than how people claimed it was. "He went to Sohryu?" he whispered, aghast.  
"Yes. He said he had to…err… uh… Well, I guess he'll give Sohryu a kick in the butt for what he did to you."  
Fear coursed through Touda. Fear for Tsuzuki. He frantically threw open the bond but only ran into a wall of fury and anger and hurt. Without conscious thought he threw aside the blanket and tried to get up. 'Tried' was the operative word. His legs, weak and shaky, refused to carry his weight and he would have crashed to the ground if not for Byakko.  
Pain shot through his chest and abdomen and he couldn't help but cry out. For a moment there was only the agony of the semi-healed wound, the lances and pulses and sheer waves of pain that took his breath away. His fingers dug into the arms holding him and he felt tears gather in his eyes.  
The tiger caught the other shikigami and both half fell, half sank to the ground, Touda ending up in Byakko's arms, held firmly and protectively. He let him ride out the pain, waited until the weakened body finally relaxed and Touda exhaled sharply.  
"What do you think you're doing?" Byakko wheezed, shimmying out from under him and getting the weak man back to bed.  
"Tsuzuki…" Touda whispered, frightened for his master's life.  
"Sohryu won't hurt him, though I'm not sure about Tsuzuki. He was really pissed off."  
Byakko deposited him back in bed and made him sit down. Worried red eyes examined him, gentle fingers brushing over the bandages.  
"Are you okay?"  
"Fine." He weakly pushed away the questing fingers.  
Byakko's gaze didn't waver, holding the unprotected eyes, and suddenly the tiger smiled.  
"You worry too much about him."  
"I don't…"  
The smile widened, calm and gentle, almost tender. "You do. Just like Tsuzuki worries about you. He's more than capable of handling Sohryu, Touda. Sohryu would never harm him, even at his worst."  
Touda was carefully maneuvered back under the covers, the slender fingers still checking for blood on the bandages.  
"He shouldn't do this," Touda murmured, looking away from the wind shikigami.  
"Do what? Set things right? Defend you? Try stopping him, Touda. This is Tsuzuki we're talking about. He's got his mind set on something, it's impossible to convince him to take a different course."  
Byakko chuckled a little and sat down next to him on the mattress. Touda found the closeness unnerving. None of the others had ever been that close, except Suzaku when she attacked him, or when there was no other choice. Touda was a loner, but not by choice. No one had wanted anything to do with him after Tsuzuki had won his pardon.  
"Touda?"  
He grunted something.  
"How about some soup? You have to get your strength back to heal," Byakko offered quietly.  
Another grunt. He didn't really care whether or not he was given food.  
"Be right back!"  
And Byakko was gone in a flurry of movement. The serpent shikigami continued to stare at the other wall, mind racing. Why was Byakko taking care of him? Why had he given him his own bedroom? There were enough rooms in the palace and he had servants to handle Touda. Why had he stayed? Why… why was he like this?  
The door opened once more and Byakko was back with soup and bread.  
And why was he bringing him food?  
"Here you go. It's hot, so be careful." Smiling brightly, Byakko set own the tray and was about to help Touda up when the fire serpent waved him off. He would this on his own. He wasn't dependent on this man. It took some effort and he bit back new lances of pain, but he was upright.  
Touda ate in silence, worry still niggling at his mind, and the bond was too quiet. Now and then there was a flare of emotion, but nothing to tell him how Tsuzuki really was. When the bowl was empty, he set it down. Byakko seemed delighted.  
"Want more?"  
"No, thank you."  
There was a ripple from Tsuzuki's side of the bond and he immediately turned to it, like a drowning person would reach for a life-saving hand. Tuning out Byakko, he cast a question along the connection.  
Tsuzuki? Are you all right? 


	12. part 12

**Authors' note: for some reason FFNet keeps screwing up the mind-talk parts, so now we put them in italics. (sighs)**

****

Tsuzuki sat in his favorite place of Rikugo's study. It was a small corner of the room that had high, wide windows overlooking GensouKai. Cushions kept him comfortable and he leaned against the old, lacquered wood, eyes on the peaceful scenery. Dressed in a garb more fitting this world than his own, Tsuzuki felt like he belonged here. For the brief moments he allowed himself to completely relax, to unwind in a place that was more or less a dream world, he was someone completely else.  
With things settling down more and more, his own soul began to relax as well. The whole atmosphere of Rikugo's place helped, even if it was so unusually clean and sparkling. Lazily he turned toward the bond and smiled warmly as he was met by an almost frantic Touda.  
_I'm fine,_ he sent. _Completely okay. Relax_  
The fire shikigami was trembling with worry and Tsuzuki was touched. He stroked over the dark presence and wished him to relax.  
_What happened?_ Touda demanded.  
_Sohryu and I cleared the air between us  
You shouldn't have…  
Touda, this is as much for his sake as it is for mine and yours. I can't stand this. I love you all so much, it hurt to have him angry  
He wasn't angry at you, _was the timid reply.  
He sighed. _He was. I know he was. He needed to get things into perspective and I helped him a little. Touda, it's okay.  
Rikugo…?  
I'm at his place now. We're fine. He's no more to blame than you are. You all meant no harm, but it came out so wrong.  
_Touda curled into his touch, needy and seeking his presence. Tsuzuki knew how much the shikigami was still hurting, and not just from the physical wounds. He remembered the naked fear in those non-human eyes when he had removed the visor throughout the so-called trial. He had seen it, clear as daylight. He had felt it, almost tasted it. Touda had realized what he had done, even without fully understanding every detail, and it had terrified him.  
The first time in his life after his pardon he had actively tried to help, to do something good for Tsuzuki, and it had backfired so badly.  
Tsuzuki closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around the trembling presence, holding him. _I'll be back soon, _he promised, aware that his physical presence was required.  
Touda didn't reply, but he stayed in his embrace, vulnerable, weak… like Tsuzuki had never seen him before. A beaten puppy… Not exactly the way he would ever have seen the serpent, but right now there was little of the powerful, dangerous and lethal warrior left.  
After a while Tsuzuki opened his eyes, aware that Touda had drifted off to sleep. He turned his head and discovered Rikugo at his desk, reading through scrolls that looked suspiciously like astrological charts. As if feeling the amethyst eyes on him, Rikugo looked up, smiling a little.  
"How is he?" the astrologer asked quietly.  
"Tired, afraid…" Tsuzuki answered softly. "Confused."  
Rikugo placed his pen on the desk, sighing softly. There was a brief expression of pain.  
"This will take a very long time to even start healing," he finally said.  
"Yes."  
"He will need you for that."  
"I'm always there. I might not be able to stay in GensouKai because of my job, but I'm there for him."  
Rikugo smiled softly. "Yes. Yes, you are."  
Tsuzuki only smiled, then snuggled back into his pillows, returning to his peaceful study of the landscape. He knew he couldn't stay here forever, even if Rikugo claimed he could. The world of the living and Meifu would want him back.  
But not today.

Byakko looked at the sleeping fire shikigami. He had watched the silent communication between him and Tsuzuki, had witnessed the multiple emotions crossing the usually so stoic face, and he had watched as Touda had slipped off into sleep. A fine smile played over Byakko's features as he smoothed the blanket and settled back in his couch chair again, waiting as long as it took for Touda to wake up. He wouldn't leave the injured shikigami alone.  
His eyes strayed to the tattoo that adorned Touda's left upper arm. It looked like a stylized flower or some kind of weird star. It was pitch-black, like it had been burned into his skin since birth. Maybe he had truly been born with it. The tattoo disappeared the moment the visor was back, limiting Touda's powers, and he wondered if that had anything to do with it. Then again, Touda was a serpent shikigami, related to dragons like Sohryu, and a dragon's strength lay within the length of his hair. By cutting the black strands the others had simply taken Touda's power down several notches, and the limiter did the rest.  
Byakko sighed softly. For the first time he was truly thinking about what had been done to this proud man. And it hurt.  
Studying the still clearly muscular body, the body of a warrior, he wondered what would happen now. Touda was in his care and he wouldn't let any of the other three Gods, let alone the shikigami who served Tsuzuki, come close with ill intent. It was his duty to protect the wounded man. Touda had done nothing wrong; they had been rash in judging him and Byakko blamed his confusion over the topic, his feelings for Tsuzuki, and the fact that he didn't know Touda at all.  
Well, that could be rectified, he thought. He would get to know Touda. 

"Tsuzuki?"  
The quietly voiced question made Tsuzuki look at his friend. He had come to visit, staying with the sleeping man until he would wake, and he was currently immersed in a book. Touda had been awake for a while, studying the smooth features, the young man he knew better than anyone else.  
Now Tsuzuki looked up, smiling widely. "You're awake! How do you feel?"  
Like shit, he thought. He still hurt. "Better," he only said.  
"Good!"  
"Can I ask you a question?"  
Tsuzuki put the book aside. "Sure."  
"What exactly did you dream of?" Touda asked carefully, not really looking at him. 

Tsuzuki sighed. He had suspected that the shikigami would ask one day, but he had hoped it would be some time in the far future, not now. He had never told Touda. The very person who had suffered so badly from all of it had still no idea what he had done.  
The dream was just a faint memory now, something that no longer influenced him in his interaction with his shikigami. Time healed a lot of wounds, though not all. These particular ones had disappeared, though.  
Touda waited patiently for him to tell or deny him the answer.  
Finally Tsuzuki told him. Not in every detail, but he told him of the 'threesome', of the sexual encounter, and Touda's hands clenched into fists. The shinigami scooted over to the bed, wrapping his fingers around Touda's hand.  
"You are not to blame. You only sent a trigger, a good feeling, but my brain was so busy coping with your declarations of love… with my attraction to Hisoka, and my overactive imagination… well, it did the rest."  
Touda still evaded the amethyst eyes. "I shouldn't have done it."  
"No, probably not, but I know what the gesture meant. You did it because you cared. Actually, it worked, though not as you planned to. Hisoka and I… well, he's helped me through all of this and I think we're getting closer."  
Touda finally looked up, lips pulled into an expression of doubt and Tsuzuki fidgeted.  
"Okay, okay, so we didn't really get past first base, but…" He ducked his head and Touda had to smile a little.  
"I'm glad," he only said.  
Tsuzuki looked up once more, right into those fascinating golden eyes. He still remembered the time he had walked straight into the very belly of Tenkuu, into the deepest cellars, through the catacombs, and had entered the prison cell that had held this proud creature. He remembered looking at the mostly naked, long-haired shikigami, meeting golden eyes that held nothing but wonder and confusion, need and vulnerability. He had looked into those eyes and had known what to do. He had held out a hand and he had touched Touda.  
It had been like the sealing of this bond, of this strange friendship.  
"Me, too. Touda… I need to go back home."  
The serpent nodded. "I understand."  
"I'll be back as soon as possible. Byakko will be here, he'll take care of you, protect you…"  
Touda scowled. "I don't need a baby-sitter!"  
"No. You need a friend."  
That stopped him and Tsuzuki rubbed a thumb over the hand he was holding.  
"Just get better, Touda. I need you to be better."  
Touda raised a hand and cupped his cheek. "I will. I promise you."  
"Thanks."


	13. part 13

Tsuzuki had come back to Meifu, reluctantly, but he had. Byakko had sworn to take care of Touda, to protect him, to see to it that he gained weight and healed. It had taken a weight off Tsuzuki's shoulders, leaving him with only one mostly unsolved problem.  
Kurosaki Hisoka.  
He had confessed his love for his partner, to his partner, while under emotional stress and now, as he was able to get some distance, he wondered what Hisoka would make of it. He loved the boy and he didn't want to lose him over this.  
Hisoka was there when he came back, face as neutral as always, green eyes scanning him closely. Tsuzuki gave him a half-smile.  
"Hey."  
"Hey," was the careful reply as those intense eyes continued watching him, looking for something.  
"Uh… Hisoka…I…"  
"Yes."  
Tsuzuki stopped, blinked, then frowned. "What?"  
"Yes," Hisoka repeated.  
"Yes… what?"  
The smaller shinigami approached him, still unreadable. "The answer to your question is yes."  
"I didn't ask…"  
"You were about to. Or you were about to give me some crap about you being under emotional pressure, that I should ignore what you said, which I won't, and that I might be misinterpreting things, which I'm not. My answer is yes, Tsuzuki Asato. I love you, too."  
Tsuzuki could only stare at his partner, breath leaving his lungs in a gasp, and then had a slender body in his arms and a pair of lips crushing down on his own. He had no time to think, only to react, and he did. He reacted and he kissed Hisoka back, holding him tightly, feeling everything and nothing at all.  
Hisoka gazed at him, face tilted up to look at the taller man, as he remained in his arms.  
"I think we should talk," he said softly.  
"Whatever you want," Tsuzuki answered giddily.  
Hisoka chuckled. "I wonder how long that lasts."  
Tsuzuki just kissed him again, loving, appreciating the soft contact, unable to get enough of his partner. He felt incredibly happy, his emotions echoing through the bond. Touda's presence was like a background hum, resonating his pleasure and agreement.  
_Took you long enough, shinigami,_ the fire serpent muttered.  
Tsuzuki only smiled at him, brilliant and relieved, so unbelievably glad.  
_Thank you_, he sent.  
Touda didn't reply, just moved back, giving the two men their privacy. But Tsuzuki could detect the faint ripples of satisfaction. 

Touda leaned back into the pillows – Byakko's pillows, he reminded himself, in Byakko's bed, Byakko's bedroom. He was slowly feeling better, day by day, but, as his host had also reminded him, he was to stay in bed until he had healed. Master's orders. The wounds had been deep, he had lost a lot of blood, his malnourished body was unable to compensate accordingly for the blood loss, and at the moment just sitting and eating was taking a lot of energy.  
A part of him – make that a big part – was entirely glad Tsuzuki had taken him back, had forgiven him for what he had done. He was even allowed to be without the control mechanism as long as he was to stay at Byakko's. It was a monumental decision and Touda knew that Tsuzuki was probably getting hell from Sohryu and the others for it. Knowing his master Tsuzuki was more than up to the task. There were only a few blips over the bond as Tsuzuki and Hisoka were starting to explore their new relationship, something that pleased Touda greatly. He would accept the lack of presence from his master because he knew it meant that he and Hisoka were talking or otherwise engaged.  
The fire shikigami had felt a little uneasy when he had found out that he was actually staying in the tiger's own room, invading his personal space, but for whatever reasons the other shikigami didn't seem to mind. On the contrary. He was bringing him food, ordering him to eat – "Tsuzuki said you're far too thin, and I second that," – and was even keeping him company when he had the time.  
Byakko was a God after all, Protector of the West and therefore had his duties although he seemed to cut them down a little now. He had even managed to bring his guest a TV and – very much to Touda's surprise – had curled up beside him on the bed and watched a movie the other night.  
The simple fact that anyone, anyone at all who wasn't Tsuzuki, would think of spending time with him was hard for Touda to grasp. Byakko was relaxed around him, no tension at all. His mouth worked a mile a minute when he was excited, but there were intense moments, serious moments, when Touda could see the God, the Protector, and the Commander. And he could see much more. He saw layers to the cheerful shikigami's side he would never have suspected.  
One side was also annoying. It was the long, striped tail. It was a barometer of Byakko's moods, relaying excitement, disappointment or tension quite clearly. It twisted and twirled and whipped around, it was in motion or completely still, and it had started to fascinate the black shikigami.  
Until that movie night.  
The tail had a mind of its own and throughout the movie, it had ended up brushing against Touda more often than not.  
Until Touda had grabbed the long tail that had once again bumped only accidentally against his face, and had told Byakko in no uncertain terms what he would do with it should it appear within his reach again.  
Byakko had apologized – and grinned at him, curling his tail around himself from that moment on. Well, for that evening that was. It had happened again, Touda had grabbed the tail – and had been deeply shocked to hear a very soft purr from his companion some time later. Almost blushing he had let go of the tail, realizing he had stroked the soft fur the entire time.  
Ever since he couldn't get the sensation out of his mind.

Now was the sixth day he was at Byakko's place, and it was the first evening he was actually spending alone. Byakko had urgent matters to take care of, had apologized for leaving him alone, and had left, looking less than pleased. Touda had waved off the apology. He didn't need a baby-sitter, be it in the form of servants, Byakko himself or his master. He was able to walk short distances and, in the absence of a movie night companion, had made himself comfortable on the balcony that belonged to Byakko's bedroom, enjoying the nice view, the peace and quiet and the good book Byakko had recommended.  
In other words – he was bored.  
Letting the book sink, he gazed at the horizon where the sun was already setting in the west, wondering when Byakko would be back. Closing his eyes Touda imagined the wide open smile, the sparkling red eyes, the humor, or the way Byakko's mouth would go a mile a minute when he was excited. Or the way how soft and silky the fur on his tail felt…  
Touda blinked in surprise when a realization slowly set in.  
He missed the tiger.  
Impossible!  
He had spent a few days with a companion and was already missing him? He, Touda, the independent fire serpent half GensouKai feared? He, the loner, was missing a fluffy overgrown flying cat with a mane?  
Yes, you do, part of him muttered. Accept it. You miss someone. You miss the warmth of his company, his laughter, his life energy.  
Damn…  
Damn! He didn't need this!  
"Hey, honey, I'm home," a cheerful voice behind him cut into his thoughts. "Oh, you've made it to the balcony, good. Want some hot chocolate?"  
Touda buried his face in his hands and groaned.


	14. part 14

Changing the bandages was normally a job for servants, but Byakko hadn't let anyone touch Touda except Tsuzuki and himself. The fire shikigami had gotten used to the quiet, competent way his host changed the wrappings, palpated the healing wound, would rub the ointment into his skin. Lately it was getting harder, though. A lot harder.   
Touda sat still, almost like a rock, as Byakko went about changing the bandages for today. The wound was closed, the stitches removed, but the healing skin was not yet strong enough to undergo great stress, like moving around a lot, so Byakko insisted that Touda take it easy. Taking it easy meant more bed rest, some strolls through the wind shikigami's palace, and having the cheerful tiger as a companion.   
It wasn't actually bad, he mused, then cut off that line of thought.   
It was bad! He was independent and here he sat, waited on hand and foot because he was weak.   
"There," Byakko announced, petting the freshly bandaged chest very lightly. "You're done."   
He smiled widely at Touda, who slowly and carefully pulled on the borrowed shirt. It was black, thank you very much, but not like the style he was used to. The fact that the visor was still off was both a relief and a source of worry. The others were very much aware of his unrestrained condition and while Byakko's place wasn't surrounded by guards, Touda knew Sohryu had probably taken precaution.   
Touda blinked when he noticed a pair of red eyes watching him intently.   
"What?" he growled.   
"It's a shame," Byakko said softly.   
"What are you talking about, cat?"   
"That you have to wear that visor again."   
Touda froze for a moment. "I've gotten accustomed to it. It was part of the deal," he finally rumbled.   
He didn't like to be reminded of the visor, of the time in the near future where he would be wearing it again. It wasn't so much about not being able to access his powers than the way his senses would be shut down again. He would be blind and deaf to the world of the shikigami. He could barely feel the auras of the others and sometimes the visor was like a cage.   
"Sure, I know, but… you have beautiful eyes."   
With that Byakko turned and gathered the medical supplies, leaving the room. Touda gaped, unable to grasp the words.   
What?! 

It was a nice, warm afternoon in Meifu and the cherries were in full bloom – the cherries always bloomed in Meifu. Tsuzuki relaxed under his favorite cherry tree, feeling content and one with the world, watching the sun peek through the leaves and the soft breeze move the branches, letting the Sakura petals dance. It was a rather lazy Saturday afternoon. He briefly skimmed over the bond and finding Touda reasonable calm.   
There was a movement to his left but Tsuzuki didn't need to actually look – he knew that it was Hisoka approaching him. The boy silently sat down at his side and Tsuzuki acknowledged his presence with a smile.   
Boy, yeah right.   
Hisoka was a shinigami and just because he had died at a young age meant his body would always be that of a sixteen year old. His mind was a completely different matter, and in Tsuzuki's opinion this boy had never been a kid. He had been through a lot. But he was the only partner Tsuzuki accepted, the only partner to accept Tsuzuki, to go along with him so well, and they had been through a lot together lately, too. Tsuzuki felt warmth curl inside of him just thinking of the other shinigami and having him this close right now, especially after finally confessing what he felt…   
They hadn't gone past first base just yet or 'still not gone past the kissing stage' as Touda had commented last night. It was Hisoka who initiated the encounters, Hisoka who touched him, and Tsuzuki was careful not to startle the younger shinigami. He was an empath and he was rather sensitive when his shields dropped or where not strong.   
Tsuzuki was startled when he suddenly had an armful of shinigami curling around him. He closed his arms around the smaller body involuntarily, feeling a little shocked about the sudden outburst of – whatever. Usually Hisoka didn't seek his physical nearness and contact this way, not unless they were in a real nasty situation. Even now after they had officially started a private relationship there hadn't been more than the few kisses, hugs – and they had hugged before -- that was it.   
Step by step. Careful. Protective.   
Hisoka would walk through the fires of hell for him, had actually done that when he had stepped into Touda's fire to get him back from the edge of self destruction, an edge that would always be there, Tsuzuki knew. He had held him, soothed and comforted him many times when his guilt and shame had threatened to overwhelm him, rarely being the one in need.   
Hisoka had his arm wrapped around his waist, head comfortably resting on his chest, cuddling against him like a… lover, Tsuzuki, that's what you'd want him to be, right?   
But he needed to be so careful…   
"Hisoka?"   
He could feel Hisoka's body heat, the steady beating of his heart or the rise and fall of his chest, the faint scent that rose from the blond strands just in front of him. The younger shinigami snuggled closer and somehow this worried Tsuzuki, making him wish he'd be the empath of the pair.   
"Are you okay?"   
There was a long silence before Hisoka answered.   
"I know you love me."   
Of course he did. He had confessed it to his partner. Not in so many words, but he had.   
Hisoka had always known what he had felt, even the deeply buried and hidden emotions had overwhelmed him at first. Now the empath had more control over his powers, could shield himself much more properly or even use his powers actively. So there was no reason to deny.   
"I do," Tsuzuki murmured.   
"There's something you need to know about me."   
Tsuzuki felt apprehension rise. Need to know? Hisoka had been abused, mistreated, locked up as a child because of his powers, slowly killed by a curse and was now a shinigami, an angel of death, sentenced to take lives and souls, and all that as a very young age.   
What else could there be?   
"Muraki raped me."   
He felt like someone had pole-axed him. His mind went blank for a moment, his heart skipped a beat and his stomach clenched.   
What…? Why, how, where… when?!   
"The night he carved that curse into my body."   
Tsuzuki squeezed his eyes shut, closing his arms more tightly around the suddenly very fragile body in his arms, wanting to comfort, to heal, make it all go away… shit, Hisoka had been thirteen back then! He felt the boy shift in his arms and tried hard to get a grip on his boiling emotions, not wanting to hurt the empath any further.   
"It was… he enjoyed it, immensely. He… stripped me, and then he touched me, everywhere, and it was almost gentle. He laughed when I pleaded him to stop, let me go, as I swore that I'd be silent about what I'd seen. And his emotions were so cold and yet jaded, and they seeped into me and I couldn't do anything. "   
Tsuzuki stared into the friendly spring sky but it suddenly didn't appear so friendly anymore.   
Gods, he didn't want to hear this… but somehow he understood Hisoka needed him to hear it.   
"I cried and screamed when he touched me, intimately, and when he finally… he was so big and it hurt so much. I didn't lose consciousness. I prayed for it but it didn't happen. He flooded me, with his emotions and his seed, and both burned like ice, cold and black."   
Hisoka didn't cry. Maybe it would have been easier for Tsuzuki if he had, if he hadn't told him the facts in this rather cold detached way. Suddenly the younger shinigami looked up, vivid green eyes watching Tsuzuki closely.   
"Do you still love me?"   
"You know I do," Tsuzuki managed to whisper.   
A small smile graced Hisoka's lips as the empath nodded, and then he suddenly bent down and placed a chaste kiss on Tsuzuki's lips. Tsuzuki answered it, daring to move his hands, caress the slender form in his arms in a completely non-sexual way.   
It was how they sat together, silent, just taking comfort in each other. Tsuzuki had no idea whether or not to ask questions, how Hisoka would react, so he kept his silence and just enjoyed the nearness.   
"Thank you," Hisoka murmured after a while.   
He simply smiled and carefully placed a little kiss on one temple. Hisoka sighed softly and closed his eyes, molded against the taller body of his partner, so very much at ease. 

By the end of the second week, Touda had recovered mostly. His strength was back and he didn't tire out by just walking the length of the palace. He didn't venture outside and he kept himself away from crowds. The servants didn't seem frightened of him and treated him with the respect they also showed their master.   
Tsuzuki hadn't been able to come back to GensouKai. He was deeply involved in a gruesome case that required his full attention. They communicated through the bond and Touda enjoyed each and every moment.   
Afternoons where Byakko was home were spent lazing around. It did him a world of good, Touda knew. His body was only as healthy as it was now because of the care and rest.   
"Say, Touda," Byakko said slowly, tail dancing.   
Touda gazed at the tiger, who was currently lying on his stomach, holding his head in his hands and appearing to fully concentrate on the soap opera he had made Touda watch.   
"What?"   
"Are you a good kisser?"   
Touda almost spilled the tea he was sipping, feeling as if his world had just taken a hundred eighty degree loop.   
"W-What?"   
Red eyes sparkled with amusement. "You know, when you kissed Tsuzuki… he seemed to… well… "   
Touda groaned inwardly. Oh please, not again. It had been hard enough to convince Tsuzuki to let matters rest, but now … it looked as if Byakko was also thinking about the unfortunate topic.   
"So, are you?" Byakko wanted to know when he kept his silence.   
Touda growled softly, but it hadn't deterred the younger shikigami in the past. Nothing much did. He was so much like Tsuzuki in so many regards. There were so many layers to the man, so many emotions, so many confusing sides. He was young, granted. Cheerful. Explorative. Energetic. Bouncy. Child-like, even. And there was the other side. The power, the strength, the sudden change from a smile to a determined expression. He was the Protector of the West, a God, and he watched over one quarter of GensouKai.   
Touda had never tried to get to know him. Byakko was simply the white tiger, one of the other eleven shikigami of his master. Now, in the last two weeks, he had steadily found that he wasn't simply the white tiger. He was a friend, a protector, a sentinel, a guardian. He was his companion, his nurse, his cook and his entertainer.   
He simply was there.   
He didn't run. He didn't see him as a burden.   
And he hadn't judged him.   
Byakko was open-minded, he wanted to be with Touda for the sake of the man, didn't turn away because of his past. He didn't leave his care to the servants.   
And it had the fire serpent incredibly confused.   
Now the question.   
"I don't see where this is of any interest to you," Touda growled.   
"Awww, come on!" Byakko sat up, tail twitching. "Please?"   
He glared. Others had cowered under his cold eyes, but Byakko just gave him a warm smile.   
"You really floored Tsuzuki, so I guess you do have a talent," the tiger teaser ruthlessly. "Then again, our master has little experience, so… mph!"   
Touda had no idea why he had done it. He had simply reacted to the proximity, the nearness of the warm body who had shared bed space with him so many times before. He reacted to the teasing words, the need to shut this man up. And he had reacted to the man. Touda looked down on the young tiger, the lithe body now not hidden under layers of clothing – given that he didn't wear as many layers as some of the other high ranking shikigami when they were 'on duty', for example Sohryu. Huge red eyes glanced at him, and he simply reacted.   
Byakko was pushed back onto the bed, too surprised by the attack to resist or fight back. Touda's hands were on the slender shoulders, clenching into the soft fabric of his overcoat. His lips were crushing Byakko's, his tongue forcing itself on the wind shikigami –   
-- and then it met its counterpart. Byakko opened up under the invasive force, countered it, and his own hands clawed at the powerful arms of the serpent.   
Touda was only aware of the length of heat underneath him, the slender form he was holding down, kissing him, tasting him… Part of him, a small part of him, told him he was pinning Byakko down, was kneeling over his thighs, that the tiger was clinging to him like there was no tomorrow, kissing him enthusiastically.   
He finally drew back. Golden eyes, flaring with energy, met red ones that responded in kind. Byakko's lips looked swollen, ravaged, his face flushed, his hair even wilder than before. His tail lay limp, only the tip twitching. Touda was breathing hard, almost panting, staring down at the young tiger.   
Something inside him stirred.   
Something he hadn't felt in ages. The belt of Byakko's robe had given way, the robe itself was parted slightly, revealing some of the tiger's soft skin, and Touda felt the sudden urge to run his hand over that skin, pull the robe away and have his way with the wind shikigami.   
Fingers curled around his wrist, taking his hand and gently pushed it under that robe, over Byakko's thigh…   
Touda's eyes widened when he touched the other shikigami, saw Byakko close his eyes for a second and sigh softly before he looked at him again.   
"Oh yes," he whispered, "you are a good kisser." 

Golden eyes looked at the man sharing bed space with him, taking in the sated, red eyes, the smooth features, the pleased smile. Touda studied the tiger as his own body was coming down from a high he hadn't experienced in centuries. He tingled, he felt excited, he was warm and relaxed and sated… all because of this man.   
This naked man. He had never seen Byakko without any clothes and what lay hidden underneath the silky layers was a whip-like body, sinewy, lithe, well-muscled, but a lot more slender than himself. There was barely an excess fat anywhere, the skin was toned, soft, and hairless. Only that infuriating tail, that fluffy addition, had any. Well, a lot actually. And he liked them.   
"How did you know I was interested?" Touda asked, unable to grasp why Byakko had even considered having sex with him.   
"The moment you kissed me both your aura and your pheromone level flared sky high," Byakko answered, snuggling against him.   
That long tail twitched over his naked thigh and Touda grasped it, drawing a pleased little purr. He wrapped an arm around the naked body, noticing the heat the tiger was radiating. Totally cat, he mused, feeling how his eyelids slowly slid shut. He decided not to fight it – he was still healing after all.   
"Next time," he thought he heard Byakko whisper lazily at his shoulder, "I want you for real."   
But maybe he had been mistaken.   



	15. part 15

It was a simple assignment. Just a lost soul, no magic, no devils, no demons, and no possessed humans. Still it grew complicated because the human in question was running from the two angels of death, fled from his death, and both Tsuzuki and Hisoka were doggedly following the trails. It took them more than a day to find the woman in question and by the time they had finally located the house, she was running again.   
It was tiring.   
So in the end the two shinigami booked a hotel room for one night, even though Tatsumi muttered about expenses. Well, that was just him.   


Tsuzuki, though usually not easy to rouse, was awake in an instant, sensing the presence of someone else in the room. Eyes darting through the semi-darkness he spotted the outline of the other – rather small and slender …   
"Sshh, it's me."   
"Hisoka? What…?"   
The younger shinigami was now standing in front of his bed, the silvery moonlight running over his form like quicksilver. Big green eyes stared down on him and Tsuzuki started to feel more worried by the minute.   
"Are you all right, Hisoka?"   
Hisoka didn't answer right away, which didn't help Tsuzuki's apprehension.   
"Talk to me?"   
"I had a nightmare," Hisoka answered softly.   
"You want to sleep here?"   
"Kinda."   
Tsuzuki's eyes almost popped when he saw Hisoka shrug out of his robe, wearing nothing but skin underneath, watching him intently, and he felt panic rose inside of him.   
"Hisoka! This… I… wait… "   
The boy had simply grabbed and lifted the blanked and slipped underneath, and Tsuzuki could feel the nude body press against his as the smaller shinigami was snuggling into his arms.   
Oh god… he wants… but I can't… I don't… his thoughts were whirling.   
"Asato?" Hisoka asked, clearly sensing his anxiety. It was the first time he called him by his name, too.   
_Don't make such a fuss!_   
_Touda!_   
_C'mon – the boy's more experienced than you are. And you told him you're a virgin already, remember_   
_Touda!!_ Tsuzuki cried, mortified and outraged in one.   
"What's wrong? Is it that you… you don't want me?"   
"Hisoka…"   
Tsuzuki bit his lower lip, unsure of what to say.   
"Hisoka, I… I think I want you. I just don't know… I don't know how it… I told you I've never…"   
Green eyes stared at him for a long minute, than the blond head fell on his chest as Hisoka let out a long breath that almost sounded like a snort. The heat brushing over his skin made Tsuzuki shiver, though.   
"Yes, you did… Only you, Asato. You're a one hundred year old virgin!"   
"Well, technically… I'm not hundred years old."   
"Details. If I wanted to get laid by a nitpicker I'd have asked Tatsumi."   
The image this awoke made Tsuzuki shudder inwardly and at the same time something inside him clenched. And then the words really registered.   
"You want to get laid by me?!"   
"Tsuzuki, you're so dense sometimes. If someone climbs into your bed in the middle of the night stark naked I'd say that's a slight indication into that direction, yes."   
"Hisoka…" Tsuzuki felt utterly helpless, and blushing, too.   
"Did you never have a girl friend or something? Just a friend?" Hisoka asked.   
Tsuzuki shook his head. "As long as I'm a shinigami, no. According to… some files… I spent the last eight years of my life in a hospital, trying to kill myself. I died at the age of twenty six, so that makes me eighteen. And before that… I really don't think so. I'm not human, people didn't want me close…"   
A soft hand on his face stopped his rambling and he turned, looking into the expressive green eyes.   
"You are human, Tsuzuki Asato. I don't care what anyone says, what your genealogy reveals. You're very much human. Now… kiss me?"   
It just needed a little shift to bring their lips together. Shyly at first but with growing excitement Tsuzuki deepened the kiss, letting his arms come up and around the rather delicate body he was holding close, until Hisoka pulled back to breathe. Head coming to rest on his chest, the smaller shinigami inhaled deeply and Tsuzuki stroked the naked back as soothingly as he could, given the fact that he felt totally off kilter himself.   
"Hisoka, I…"   
"No rushing things," Hisoka whispered against his skin. "This is too precious to rush."   
"Would you – like to stay?"   
"Yes. I'd like that." 

Rikugo had returned to Byakko's palace to check on Touda, to see how the shikigami had healed. He wasn't happy to be here, but Tsuzuki had asked him to take care of the serpent and he would never disobey his master.   
The terrible wound had healed nicely and Byakko had apparently taken very good care of him. A long reddish line ran across the muscular chest. It would disappear in a day or two, given how the healing powers had recovered as well. Touda had filled out nicely once again, looking strong and ready to leave this confinement.   
Evading the uncovered eyes, Rikugo straightened. Behind him an eager Byakko watched him closely.   
"So?" the tiger wanted to know, bouncing in place without even moving.   
"The wound has closed and there are no signs of infection or muscle damage," Rikugo said calmly, unnerved by the unrestrained fire serpent.   
The control mechanism was still off; there was nothing to hold Touda back from attacking any single one of them with his full powers now… He pushed that thought aside. Touda had been a model patient with Byakko; there had been no complaints.   
"Great!" Byakko exclaimed, beaming. "That's good news!"   
The astrologer had to smile at the undisguised happiness. "Yes. Now, if you'll excuse me…"   
"Sure! Thanks for coming by."   
Rikugo only briefly glanced at the man sitting on the chair. Touda was redressing, not even looking his way. Rikugo knew he would feel better the moment the control mechanism was back. They all would.   


Byakko watched Touda dress, smiling. He was pleased his guest and friend had healed, but then something niggled into that happiness.   
Touda was healed.   
He would leave.   
Disappointment was added to the relief.   
Touda would go…   
The fire shikigami rose and walked over to the drawer that held the visor. He opened it and looked at the device, then simply took it out.   
"Touda…" Byakko started, but he wasn't fast enough.   
With a stony expression Touda slipped the visor on, fastening it quickly. The beautiful eyes were once again hidden behind the tinted visor and the man who had shared weeks with him was replaced by the almost unapproachable creature everyone hated.   
Byakko stepped in front of the slightly taller man, sadness creeping into his eyes. Red eyes tried to pierce the black shield, find the eyes he had been looking into in the past days. Eyes that held emotions Touda denied even feeling. Eyes that relayed so much loneliness and pain.   
"You don't have to go," the tiger said softly.   
"Yes, I do. I'm healed."   
"My invitation extends beyond that time, you know…"   
Touda silently looked at him, then a small smile twitched at the corners of his mouth.   
"Yes, I know Byakko. I know."   
One hand, not yet wearing the dangerous metal claws, came up to cup his face and Byakko felt the warmth this man could give.   
"Thank you for your hospitality, my lord. I will repay your kindness one day."   
Touda leaned down and brushed his lips over Byakko's, catching the shikigami slightly off guard.   
And then he was gone.   
Byakko gave a silent mewl of distress and gazed forlornly at the empty bedroom.   



	16. part 16

What had he been thinking?   
Not much. Not much at all. He had reacted to an invitation.   
Touda stalked through the deserted valley, glaring at every hapless little pebble that got in his way.   
He had slept with Byakko! That annoying fur ball! He had slept with a Protector, a God, and, damn… it had been good.   
Centuries without a bed partner… and he had been bedded by that persistent little tiger. It had been just a mutual hand job, but it had given him a taste of something he hadn't had in a very long time. Something he hadn't given a thought. Well, in that cell he hadn't thought about sex a lot. He hadn't thought about much at all. The shikigami had resigned himself to his fate, his mind occupied with darker matters, with death and destruction and a loss that had nearly destroyed him in turn. He had lost track of time. He had lost track of life.   
And in the decades since then, after Tsuzuki had freed him, he hadn't considered a mate.   
Whoa! Screeching halt! Mate?   
Bed partner.   
Leave it at that.   
Byakko had been a convenient release. Right?   
Touda sank onto a rock and stared at the white water river. The noise was drowning out all other sound and in a way it was soothing.   
White noise.   
He almost smiled.   
Why him? his mind insisted. Why Byakko? Why the tiger?   
Touda had known the God since he had been freed. He had never seen more than a fellow shikigami in Tsuzuki's services in him. He had known who he was, what he was, and that was that. No interaction aside from the necessary ones. He had talked to him, but never more than a few words. He had neither been friendly nor hostile.   
But now he had gotten to know Byakko. The tiger had taken care of him, had taken him in, for crying out loud! He could have decided to leave him in one of the guest rooms. Or somewhere else. He had servants who could have gotten him a room.   
No, he had slept in the main bedroom, in Byakko's bed. The wind shikigami had nursed him back to health, had been there, had talked to him, had just offered his friendship… and had expected what in return? What could Touda give him?   
Nothing. He was a traitor, a pardoned criminal… not to be trusted.   
Touda groaned and rubbed his forehead. He hadn't had a headache in ages; now it was slowly turning into a migraine.   
Why had Byakko taken him to bed? It wasn't like the white tiger had been the demanding part. No, he had been the giving one. He had let Touda take him, lead the encounter, and he had let him go. There had been no demands… none at all.   
Three weeks! He had been at Byakko's palace for three weeks and he had taken him to bed! That had to be a new record.   
Shit.   
Why?   
When had Byakko turned into such an attractive partner that he would voluntarily let him touch him? Aside from changing the bandages. When had he even remotely considered giving him sexual release, letting the other shikigami touch him with such gentleness, with such love and need, and return the favor. Why had he let him kiss him?   
Touda closed his eyes.   
Damn.   
Damndamndamn.   
He was so screwed.   
Because he wanted more. He wanted to feel that lithe body in his arms again, he wanted to run his hands over that warm, toned skin, kiss those lips, hear the mewls and cries of pleasure. He wanted to feel the tail brushing over his naked skin, he wanted to hear the purr…   
He wanted Byakko. 

They had seen little of each other, though it wasn't from lack of trying on Byakko's side. The tiger didn't actively search for Touda, but whenever the fire serpent was around, he invited him for tea, for dinner, for breakfast, for a movie, for whatever came to mind. Some invitations were taken, others politely declined. Byakko wasn't deterred. He enjoyed Touda's presence, his nearness, and while no more intimate moments had followed the one and a half they had shared, he wouldn't give up on the black shikigami.   
He also didn't give up on convincing Touda he was always welcome to stay for more than the time he did. Byakko had no idea where Touda lived. He had no palace in the center of GensouKai and he wondered where the serpent always went.   
One day he followed him.   
Secretly.   
And he was horrified by his discovery.   
Then again, what had he really expected? A wonderful little house? A hidden palace? Splendor? This was Touda, the traitor. The one who had been pardoned and was barely tolerated. This was the one shikigami everyone in GensouKai knew and avoided if possible.   
No, there was no splendor here. No servants, no luxury, nothing at all. Touda's chosen home was a wooden cabin that looked like the next storm could uproot it. The roof had grass and moss on it, an old tree spread some shelter, and there was a tiny vegetable garden behind it. A stream ran close by.   
Byakko hid in the forest, staring in utter shock at the run-down place that had to be hundreds of years old. Large stones made up the foundation of the hut, probably keeping it upright, and a well-trodden path led into the forest behind it. He sneaked closer, peeking into the cabin.   
Inside was nothing much. A tiny stove, a futon mattress, a low table. That was it.   
Bare. Spartan.   
Sinking onto his haunches, the tiger shook his head. Touda lived like the poorest beggar! But he looked healthy, strong… where did he get his food from? He had no servants and no funds. Once a Divine Commander he had been stripped of all rank and privileges and even the pardon hadn't given him back any of that.   
He was given his answer when he decided to follow Touda for a day, keeping out of sight of the older shikigami. Touda's senses were badly impaired by the control mechanism, and he couldn't sense another's aura until the person was right on top of him.   
So Byakko followed and, hidden underneath a cape and cowl, arrived in a small village. Some of the villagers shot him odd looks, sensing the aura of a high level shikigami among them, wondering who the man in the robes was. With rising desperation he watched Touda go to the place where the local market's old food was collected at the end of a day. It had been thrown away because no one wanted to buy old or less than fresh bread or vegetables. Street people and the poor flocked toward the sole stand and Touda, with a dignity that was deeply ingrained, did the same. He picked up a box full of old food and turned, watched by the towns people with varying degrees of distrust, wariness and fear.   
Byakko whimpered silently to himself.   
No. No, that couldn't be true! Did any of the others know how far the mighty serpent had fallen?   
Probably not.   
And even if they did, they wouldn't care.   
But he did. He cared a lot. And did Tsuzuki know? No, Byakko decided. He didn't or he would have put an end to it somehow. Touda wouldn't tell him and the others were turning a blind eye to him.   
One of the merchants, an old woman, walked up to the still fear-inspiring shikigami, bowed, and handed him a bag. She was one of the bakers and from what Byakko could see and smell, it was bread. Old bread. Stale.   
Oh Touda… he moaned.   
Touda took the offered food, bowed his head briefly, then left the market place. He didn't look at anyone or anything, but he drew looks. Wary and frightened, even though he hadn't threatened anyone. He didn't demand food, he just took scraps, what the people would otherwise throw away.   
Byakko sank down the wall of the alley he had hidden in, tears in his eyes. 

He had chosen the remote little lake in one of the many valleys of the west as his thinking spot. Byakko had come here quite often in his life, had tossed pebbles, watched the sun set or rise, depending on what time he had come here, and he had seen the changes of the landscape in the past centuries.   
Today he had no eyes for the landscape, the sun or the lake as such. He was staring at the water without seeing it, tossing a few small pebbles as he turned them between his fingers.   
The last few days he had done nothing but think. About his life so far, about the latest changes, about… Touda. He couldn't get the fire shikigami out of his head and it had nothing to do with the revelation of how the other lived.   
Why am I so interested in Touda? Why did I sleep with him? Why do I feel so… so much…? Three weeks and I fell for him.   
He had known Touda for so long and never given him another thought. Not even remotely. A convicted criminal, a pardoned criminal, Tsuzuki's shikigami… and lately Tsuzuki's bonded shikigami. His counter-weight.   
Too much had happened in such a short time. Touda's arrest, the trial, Tsuzuki's intervention… Touda disappearing, almost dying… For the first time he had seen him as something else than a black-clad serpent with an attitude. He had seen the gentleness, the tenderness, the fear and vulnerability. He had seen what was behind the visor… and it weren't just two fascinating, golden eyes. There was a tormented, lonely soul. A soul that clung to Tsuzuki for stability and survival, that hated to rely on anyone or anything, but it needed warmth.   
Byakko had given him some of that warmth.   
It wasn't like he had been in heat at the time. Not that feline shikigami went into heat at all; that was a myth. But Hell, it had felt like he had been! He still wanted more. It had been so… incredible.   
What was wrong with him?   
_Byakko, old boy, you have a problem. It's tall, likes black and has an attitude. You fell for Touda._   


He returned to GensouKai center, not much clearer on his thoughts or his feelings, except that he did feel a lot for Touda. He had… fallen for him. The fire serpent. Byakko, Protector of the West, had fallen for a convicted mass murderer who was shunned or hated by almost everyone in this realm.   
Why me?!   
He sighed softly and shook his head. Three weeks, and he was in love.   
"Are you sad?"   
The child-like voice drew him out of his thoughts and he discovered that Tenkou was watching him. The girl sat on a bench, swinging her legs, wide blue eyes looking curiously at him.   
Byakko sat down next to her. "Kinda."   
"Did you lose something?"   
"In a way."   
"Can I help you find it?" Tenkou offered.   
"I don't know. It's my heart, Tenkou."   
"You want me to help you find it again?"   
Oh, the sweet innocence of children. If it were that easy… "I don't think you can."   
She tilted her head. "Do you like someone?"   
"Why do you think so?"   
"Kijin said that when my father met Aya he had lost his heart, too."   
Byakko smiled. "Yes. I think I like someone very much."   
"That's nice. So why are you sad?" she wanted to know.   
"Because I don't know if he likes me, too."   
"Why don't you ask my father? When I don't know something, I ask him. You want to ask him?"   
Byakko coughed. "I don't think he can help me, Tenkou."   
"How about Rikugo? He knows a lot."   
"No, I don't think so either."   
Tenkou looked thoughtful. "And Kijin? I go to Kijin if it's something the grown-ups shouldn't know."   
Byakko smiled a little more. "I appreciate the offer, princess, but this is something no one but I can help myself with."   
She stuck out her lower lip, thinking hard. "Then you have a problem."   
He almost laughed. Oh really? He wouldn't have figured.   
"Byakko?" Tenkou asked after a while, swinging her legs.   
"Hm?"   
"Why don't you ask him?"   
"Who?"   
"The one you like?"   
He was silent for a moment. "Because I'm scared, kid. Because I'm scared."   
"Why?" she pressed on like only a child could.   
"He might not like me."   
"But you don't know that if you don't ask him."   
"Yeah. That's my problem, princess."   
Tenkou suddenly jumped off the bench and ran over to a small field of flowers, picking a few. She ran back to Byakko and held up the wild flowers.   
"You can give him flowers!" she exclaimed, beaming. "Flowers always make me happy. I like flowers."   
Byakko almost laughed out loud, imagining handing the fire shikigami flowers. He would be so dead…   
"Thanks, Tenkou."   
She beamed more at him and then waved and ran off.   
Children, Byakko thought. It was so easy being a kid. No complications. He looked at the flowers, smiling dimly. Too bad his problem wasn't solved as easily as picking the flowers.   



	17. part 17

Time passed. Byakko couldn't get the image of the old food, the run-down shack and Touda out of his head. Part of him wondered how the former Divine Commander could keep up his health with such less than tasty and nourishing food. He wanted to help, but Touda was proud. He wouldn't accept help or pity.   
So he did something else. He went back into the small town, his aura immediately announcing who he was and what he was, and talked to the woman who he had last seen giving Touda food. She was a baker, a kind, middle-aged woman who greeted him with a deep bow and an offer of freshly baked goods.   
Byakko accepted the small pie with a smile.   
"I'd like to ask you a favor."   
"My lord?"   
"You know the one you always give your leftovers from the day before?"   
Her eyes widened. "You are speaking of the Fallen?"   
Byakko winced at the term. Fallen was right. Touda had fallen. "Yes," he murmured. Oh Touda…   
"He comes here once a week," the woman went on. "I feel sorry for him. I know he was a highly decorated warrior once, then sent to prison because he is a criminal." Her hand rose to her mouth and she looked chastised. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't talk about him."   
Byakko shook his head. "It's okay. I know, and I know him. Please, I'd like to ask you a favor. I'll pay you as a merchant to give him fresh food from now on. Don't tell him it was me. Don't say a word about it. Promise me!"   
She looked at him, wide-eyed. "My lord…?"   
"Swear me you won't tell him!"   
"I will, I will… But… why?"   
Byakko's face closed off. "I have my reasons. Just do what I tell you. You will receive payment for it, enough to cover your costs."   
She nodded quickly. "I will promise you, my lord."   
Byakko dug into his pockets and drew out several coins. "Add some vegetables and fruit now and then. Don't let it look too conspicuous."   
Another nod. "I will. You are generous, my lord."   
Byakko almost grimaced. He wasn't generous. He was just worried and shocked and horrified.   
He left the town not much later, wishing he could do more. Touda wouldn't accept an invitation to come and live at his palace ever. He was too proud. In his shoes, Byakko knew he'd act the same way. But it pained him to think of this proud man living from scraps. The little he could he had done. Informing Tsuzuki wouldn't help either because Touda would know where his master had heard it from; the bond would take care of that.   
So Byakko remained in the background, offering his friendship to the 'Fallen', and each and every time Touda accepted it was like a little victory. 

Byakko hadn't been feeling well for the last few days and the cough was getting worse. His eyes were watering, his throat was scratchy, and from the whole feel of it he was getting the shikigami version of a cold.   
Well damn, he didn't really need that right now!   
Sneezing, he sniffled a little and grabbed for a Kleenex. Just great.   
His servants had taken to making him soup and one had hurried to Rikugo to get medication. Byakko hated the vile tasting stuff. Others might like it, like Tenko or Kijin, but for a feline it was horrible to even smell. So it helped; big deal. It was still foul.   
It was in the middle of this cursed cold that he felt the Summon.   
Tsuzuki needed him.   
And he went.   
It was a mistake. 

Touda had heard about Byakko's cold and while it amused him a little, the moment he felt the Summon it quickly changed into worry. Tsuzuki was in trouble, fighting off a powerful spell brought on by a human who had made a deal with a devil, granting him limitless power. The shinigami had already been beaten back twice, barely holding his own with his ofuda, and he didn't want to touch the innate power that was deep inside him. Touda had braced himself for the inevitable, for the rush that told of the darkness rising, but instead Tsuzuki had done what he usually did – he had called one of his shikigami.   
It had been Byakko.   
A Byakko who wasn't at the top of his strength because of the cold.   
Touda had had no chance to tell Tsuzuki that the tiger, while following the Summon, was in no shape. He felt the echoes of the battle, felt the pain of his master as wounds opened and blood flowed.   
And then there was Tsuzuki's cry of horror as Byakko was injured. Touda's worry multiplied and he pushed forward along the bond, needing to know.   
_ Tsuzuki?!>>_   
He received a rush of emotions, felt fear and pain, emotional upheaval, and finally the adrenaline rush of victory. He heard tumultuous thoughts as he was already running and leaping across the roofs to Byakko's palace.   
_ Touda?>>_ Tsuzuki cried helplessly.   
_ I'll take care of him,>>_ he growled, a promise he wouldn't break.   
Tsuzuki had a case to end and worrying about Byakko wouldn't help.   
The fire serpent arrived at the wind shikigami's palace the moment the white tiger jumped out of the portal between the two worlds. Touda's breath caught in his throat as he saw the blood staining the magnificent white being. The tiger fell more than glided to the ground, and the transformation was all but easy. With a pained cry the young shikigami finally stood on his two human legs, clothes blood soaked, wounds extending all over his trembling form.   
Touda was at his side before any of the servants could reach him, cushioning the fall, feeling the light form collapse into his arms. He heard the mewling whimper of pain as Byakko curled up, those beautiful red eyes screwed shut in agony.   
And then the servants were there, swarming around them, carefully but firmly taking their master out of Touda's arms while applying pressure to the wounds and stripping off the ruined clothes.   
Touda stumbled back, shocked by the sight of the deep bite wounds on the slender form. He followed the servants like on automatic. His expression was stony, giving nothing away, but inside he was screaming in denial.   
No one stopped him.   
No one told him to leave.   
He was a silent watcher as those terrible wounds were cleaned and bandaged.   
And he stayed when they placed their master into his bed.   


Touda looked down at the sleeping shikigami. Even in his slumber Byakko showed signs of pain, his face flushed from the fever of his cold and from battling the deep wounds. He was strong, but even a strong shikigami needed time to close such injuries.   
The fire serpent brushed gentle fingers over the sweat damp hair, stroking Byakko carefully, tenderly…   
_ Touda?>>_   
The timid voice of his bonded shinigami startled him a little and he cursed himself for ignoring the young man for so long. Tsuzuki had to be frantic with worry.   
_ He's sleeping. He'll be fine.>>_   
_ I didn't know,>>_ Tsuzuki moaned. _ I wouldn't have Summoned him. I never would!>>_   
_ I know that,>>_ he calmed him._ And Byakko knows. You did what comes naturally, as did he.>>_   
Tsuzuki whimpered a little and Touda embraced him, his spirit, his soul, holding him.   
_ He'll be fine.>>_   
_ Stay with him?>>_ Tsuzuki begged.   
He wouldn't be able to deny his master a single request. Anyway, Touda hadn't planned on leaving.   
_ I will>>_   
And so he did. He stayed with the wounded tiger throughout the night, watched the fever spike and then drop. He sat with him through the morning hours as healing powers knit the skin back together again, stroking over the bare arms, the hair, touching Byakko with such tender familiarity… it hurt him in turn.   
The servants came and went. No one commented on his presence, his touch to their master. He was a silent sentinel, and he was tolerated. No, not tolerated. Accepted. 

Touda watched as the familiar red eyes opened, blinked a few times, and then Byakko tried to sit up. A soft hiss escaped the wind shikigami and he cursed. Touda smiled and he silently closed the door. He had briefly left the room to follow a call of nature, only to find that in the meantime the tiger had woken.   
"Take it easy. You were hurt badly," he rumbled.   
Byakko flinched, clearly not aware of his presence, which spoke of the shape he was in. He should have been able to sense his aura.   
"Touda?" he asked, and a happy smile split his face. He was suddenly positively glowing with happiness.   
"Yes, apparently. Now lay back."   
Byakko continued grinning as Touda pushed him back, sitting down on the mattress in turn.   
"So it wasn't a dream?"   
"What was?"   
"You here. With me. You were there when I came back from the battle."   
"Yes, I was." Touda looked into the beaming face. How could one individual emit such positive energy? "Now get back to rest. You need it."   
Byakko agreed with him with a huge yawn, still smiling like seeing the serpent was the best thing in the world.   
"Stay?" the tiger pleaded softly.   
"I'll stay," Touda promised.   
He wouldn't break that promise. It was time to pay back at least some of the debt he had with this young shikigami.   
Byakko's eyes slid shut and he was still smiling. Why and about what, Touda had no idea.   
But he stayed.   



	18. part 18

Byakko recovered at the usual speed for a shikigami. Within a day he was back to his old self and mobile, with no lingering ill effects. Touda had contacted Tsuzuki to give him the news. His shinigami had been happy to hear that the white tiger would be okay.  
In Touda's eyes though, nothing was okay. Byakko had nearly died. By the end of the day his mood had dropped and the tiger had noticed.  
"Touda? Something wrong?" he asked.  
"You were a fool to fight that devil!" he told the younger shikigami, anger still quite prominent in his voice.  
For the hours he had sat watching Byakko sleep and heal, the had thought about all the scenarios. None had ended happily.  
Byakko had nearly died.  
Byakko scowled. "Tsuzuki called me. It was my duty."  
"Not when you're sick!"  
"We serve him, Touda. You would have done the same, even if you had to carry your head under one arm!"  
He gazed into the determined, set features. Yes, he would do the same, whatever condition he was in. So why was he so upset about Byakko doing in?  
Because he cared.  
Because he had been worried.  
Because he was currently very, very furious.  
"You could have died!" he hissed instead of saying what he thought, what he felt.  
"The devil wasn't that strong, really!" Byakko huffed. "No match for a God, even one with a cold."  
"You could have died, you foolish fur ball! Your servants would nearly have scraped you off the ground!"  
Byakko's eyes flared, his own temper reaching a dangerous point. "They didn't! So it's a moot point!" he snarled. "He Summoned me, I came! That's what we do! You answer him just the same as I do!"  
Touda stepped forward, towering over Byakko despite them being almost the same size. Red feline eyes met visored ones.  
"He didn't call me!" Touda grated out. "He called you! That's the point! I'm not the one who had a cold!"  
"Tsuzuki could have died if I hadn't followed!" Byakko yelled, his tail whipping around dangerously. "You want that? You want me to be responsible for our master's death!"  
Touda growled, baring his teeth.  
"Of course not! So what's this all about? You're sworn to Tsuzuki! More than any single one of us! You would protect him! Discussing not following his Summoning is stupid! We all would follow, wherever we are, whatever condition we are in!"  
Byakko closed the last distance between them, clearly pissed.  
"Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, Touda? Did Suzaku tread on your toes? Or what the devil is wrong with you? We're not discussing our loyalty to Tsuzuki here, right? Just spill it, damnit! I'm sick and tired of playing your games!"  
Touda didn't exactly see red, but his temper got the better of him. With a snarl he grabbed the annoying little tiger and pushed him against the next wall, holding him there with his body. Heated red eyes stared at him in anger, but suddenly there was something else glittering in them – and Touda found his mouth being thoroughly plundered… and holy, the tiger could kiss. That he already knew, and his body remembered all too closely, too.  
Groaning he responded just as enthusiastically, pressing his body flush against the lighter one, hearing Byakko moan… oh yes, the tiger liked it. Eager hands roamed over his back, searching for bare skin, for more contact… Byakko pulled back, panting heavily.  
"Touda," he whispered roughly, "want you…"  
And who was Touda to disagree?  
A fluid motion sent Byakko flying, letting the lithe body land on the large bed, and with a low growl Touda was after him, all but tearing the hindering clothes apart. And then there was only pure skin between them, and even that was too much. Byakko mewled into his kisses and arched into his touches...

Soft rays of sunlight illuminating the bed room, a cool breeze moving the curtains and the chirping sounds of birds in the trees outside slowly woke Touda, and he stretched lazily, finding himself in bed, closely snuggled against a living hot water bottle. Byakko made a soft sound when he moved, still deep in sleep, and Touda closed his arms around the slender form once again, letting his hand splay over the flat abdomen. Byakko moved again, his backside with the soft furry tail pushing against Touda's groin – and sending a rush of pleasure through his body.  
The serpent let his hand wander deeper. Byakko mewled softly and stirred, red eyes fluttering open in confusion while his body was already reacting to Touda's ministrations.  
Twitching slightly into his hand Byakko turned his head, looking at Touda from still sleep dazed eyes, and the serpent leaned in for a kiss. The tiger responded after a second, reaching around to weave his fingers into his hair. Touda sighed when Byakko pressed himself backwards, spreading his legs in the process.  
Byakko inhaled sharply, head falling back and shivered when Touda found a slow but steady rhythm.

Harsh breathing filled the room and Touda stroked over the body in his arms, enjoying the feel of the heated, soft skin, the texture, the sensation of something living and breathing. He didn't try to arouse his lover once again, just calmed him with each stroke. Byakko moaned softly, hands clenched into the sheets.  
Touda licked at the warm shoulder, delivering a little bite. Sunlight played over the silvery white hair, highlighting it, and Touda smiled at the rumbling purr his caresses drew. He felt pleasantly sated, at peace, and looking at his bed partner he detected the same satisfaction from Byakko.  
Last night had been intense. This morning had been like a completion, and the attraction had only grown. He was in bed with the Protector of the West, had slept with him, not just a handjob, and he wanted nothing more than to stay like this, with this man in his arms.  
"What a wake-up call," Byakko murmured, smiling lazily.  
Oh yes. Quite a wake-up call. Very intense. Byakko hadn't been a virgin to male sex and neither had been Touda. Shikigami had no problems with gender-related issues, unlike humans, as Touda had found out in his time with Tsuzuki. His last encounter with any partner, male or female, had been quite some time ago, but his body had remembered. Oh yes, it had remembered.  
Touda pushed away the long hair and kissed the inviting neck, drawing a pleased purr. He liked the sound. He wanted to hear it, he wanted to be the one to make Byakko purr… and cry out in pleasure, in need, he wanted to hear him cry his name as he came.  
Oh hell, he had it bad.  
"That was intense," the tiger said softly. "Very intense."  
He turned in Touda's arms, red eyes filled with so many emotions, it made Touda swallow. He reached up and touched the other shikigami's face, finger tips skimming over the sides of the visor. The control mechanism sat snugly on the skin, leaving no room, and it had never bothered Touda as much as it did now. He wanted to look a this lover unimpaired.  
"You were worried, right?" Byakko asked.  
Touda didn't answer. He just couldn't.  
"About me?"  
He froze. Had he been worried? About the white tiger? Or had he been worried about Tsuzuki?  
Both, was the disturbing answer.  
"You were worried about me," Byakko answered his own question, voice full of wonder and awe.  
He wanted to deny it. He wanted to call it a lie. But it wasn't. He cared about this hyper, annoying, energetic, irritating feline.  
"Thank you," the tiger murmured, eyes so very serious.  
Touda felt his whole body freeze as tender fingers brushed over his lips. When Byakko tugged at his neck, he found himself lean down, and then those lips were touched by Byakko's.  
It was a loving contact, barely a kiss, really, but it did things to him that nothing had ever done.  
"Thank you, Touda," Byakko whispered again.  
And he had no reply for it. None at all.  
Byakko apparently didn't expect one. He lay on his side, looking at the black shikigami, while Touda almost absent-mindedly caressed his side.  
"Stay…? Please?" the tiger suddenly said.  
Stay?  
"How long?"  
Today? Tonight? The week?  
"As long as you want. It doesn't have to be in my room, I mean, you can get your own. I have a few you can decide on. I'm not using all of the palace. It's rather empty and I figure we can clean out one wing and you can have your own part. If you want to redecorated, just tell the servants. We can come up with something so you feel at home here. That is if you want to stay. If you don't want to, it's okay, really."  
Touda shut up the runaway mouth the only way that was effective: he kissed him. When they parted, he looked into the slightly dazed red eyes.  
"Do you know who I am?"  
"Sure."  
"Do you know what I did?" Touda clarified.  
"I do."  
Byakko's voice was quiet, serious, such a far cry from his cheerful mood. Of course the God knew who he was. Everyone did. Touda was the criminal who had killed thousand. Touda was a mass murderer. Touda had only been pardoned because of Tsuzuki.  
"And you want me within these walls?"  
"I think I said that."  
Touda was silent for a moment. "People will talk."  
"Let them."  
"You're the Protector of the West."  
"I know that."  
"Sohryu will not be amused."  
"Screw Sohryu."  
Touda raised an eyebrow behind the visor. That had been rather clear.  
"He's not my father. He doesn't run my life. I'm my own person and my decision stands."  
Touda winced at that. Thank the powers he wasn't…  
"Stay?" Byakko repeated the request.  
Another silence, then Touda sighed. There was no going up against this stubborn individual. And part of him didn't really want to leave. He wanted to be close to this man, to explore their relationship and more. He wanted…more.  
Byakko beamed. "I take that as a yes!"  
And he was enveloped in a pair of strong arms and Byakko was kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

to be continued in Res Judicata


End file.
